Seeing her you wouldn’t believe she is a mum. Slim, sweet and full of life, 31-year-old Vidhi Panjwani is working in the highly busy and stressful position of a full-time mom, being around 24*7 for her 4-year-old son Mahaksh.
And she is doing a great job at it.
“I can raise him my way.”
“Bringing up a child alone, without the help of a maid or the full-time support of relatives can sometimes be a tough task, but then, I also have the privilege of bringing up my child just the way I want” she says proudly. It is evident her life revolves around her son. For anything and everything that Vidhi and her husband do are planned keeping in mind their son’s comfort.
Vidhi had a C-sec delivery and the pregnancy was planned.
Myth - “A watermelon for a girl, a football for a boy!”
There are many things she can recall having heard while she was pregnant. But one of the myths that really caught her, and my fancy, was the way some ladies would predict the gender of her to-be-born child, by just looking at her growing belly.
“These ladies were so convinced that they knew it all” she laughs, and I can’t help but join in, for I too have heard the same remarks, and funnily, once my daughter was born, they stopped making any predictions in front of me.
“According to them, if the tummy is growing in the forward direction, then it is a girl. If it is round like a ball, then it is a boy. It was one of the funniest and most ridiculous things I had ever heard” she laughs again, in between sips from a hot cup of tea.
The changes:
Before her son was born, Vidhi and her husband were like any other young couple, entertaining friends, busy in their own circle, enjoying life in a different way. But after Mahaksh, things have changed, and Vidhi feels she has definitely changed as a person, and all for the better.
“Yes, of course there has been a huge change in me after my son was born. For one, I have more patience in me now than I ever had in my life. I am more responsible and mature and my maternal instincts have made me very careful as well” she says.
“A friendly mother”
A mother or a friend, that is where the mothers of today have to come to a decision. And Vidhi sums it up in a very simple yet effective way.
“I would be a friendly mother to my son” she laughs, happy to have come up with a funky term.
“I could not have asked for more from my husband.”
As she talks to me further it is revealed Vidhi had a difficult pregnancy. “There were spottings and I was on bed rest for 4 months. Those 4 months were some of the toughest months of my life. Forget getting up and walking, I was not even allowed to sit up for the first 4 months! And the only companions I had the whole day was the ceiling or the TV, of which I had soon tired. But what that period of bed-rest also did was to show me the immense care and love my husband has for me. Throughout those difficult months my husband was always by my side. So much so that even when I had hunger pangs in the middle of the night, he would go to the kitchen with my mother-in-law and help make aaloo paranthas for me. Tell me, what more could I have asked for?”
I can’t come up with anything better.
“All the exhaustion had gone as if by magic, and the only thing on my mind was to be with my son.”
Every mother has a special relationship with her little one and Vidhi is no different. Though each day is as precious as the previous, the one thing she will always remember each day of her life is the feeling she had on seeing her baby for the first time.
“I am a very sleep-happy person, I can sleep anywhere and anytime. But surprisingly, after my son was born, I felt as if all the sleep has gone from my eyes forever. I was so excited and so happy that the only feeling I had was being too full of energy and wanting to be with my son all the time. My husband and all my relatives too were surprised at the sudden change in me, but somehow, as if by miracle, all the exhaustion and the tiredness of the delivery had gone, and instead, all that was there was the beautiful face of my son and my love flowing for him. I wanted to hold him in my arms and be like that forever. It is the most amazing experience of my life, something that I can’t describe in words.”
Little Mahaksh is the pride of his parents. A young gentleman who is now in school, growing independent and learning to face the world on his own. But one thing that will forever remain constant in this mother-son relationship is the love and care they have for each other.
We wish Vidhi, Mahaksh and the family a wonderful experience throughout. Happy parenting!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Vinaya And Her Little Ones Dhruv, Jeet and Jiya
Most of us parents these days have one kid and are happy and content. Some though have two children to make their happy family complete. But how many of you have three kids these days?!
Meet Vinaya Gundecha, a lovely mother of three naughty and sweet kids. The 33-year-old young mother’s first-born is 7-n-half year old Dhruv, followed by twins Jeet and Jiya who are 3-n-half.
The first delivery was a C-sec and the next was a planned C-sec.
The planning and the 'un-planning':
“The first pregnancy was unplanned, the second was planned, but the fact that we were going to have twins was something that had never once come to our minds” she says with a smile.
So wasn’t it difficult managing three kids, that too when two of them were of the same age and needed all the attention and care at the same time?
“Of course it was difficult, but we both got used to it, and infact, after a while, nothing seemed different anymore” she says, referring to the support and help of her husband Madhur Gundecha.
"Eclipse? Why should that stop my life?"
Married in a traditional Jain family, Vinaya spent most of her pregnancy under the care and supervision of relatives from her husband’s side. And when there are so many elders around, you are sure to hear a lot of advice and tips. One thing that she remembers in particular is that when she was pregnant there was a big solar eclipse. “I was not allowed out of the room for three hours. Forget about going out of the house, I couldn’t even step out of that one single room, and had to be three hours without food or water” she says, going on to add that she herself had no qualms about going out. “Given a chance I would have carried on with my day as always, I am not a believer of these things. After all, there are many women out there who go out to work and can’t afford to take a leave based on an eclipse. Your child’s health is in your own hands I believe” she says with a firm nod.
"Yes I have changed, and only for the better."
Having three kids has definitely brought about a big change, both in her life, as well as a person. “Earlier I was more relaxed as a mother. But after the birth of my twins, when we had three young kids in the house, I realised there was a big change in me as a mother as well as a person. I became much more alert and responsible, I grew better at multi-tasking and more caring towards my little ones and kids in general.” Going on to give an example she says, “whenever we were sleeping, one noise and one of the twins would wake up and cry, thus waking up both the others as well. At times like these, both me and my husband had to work hand-in-hand. If I was feeding one, he would take care to run to the kitchen and get the bottles ready for the other two. If I assured one, he would calm the others down. It was a constant team-work at play” she says, giving her husband full credit for being there by her side.
"I am thankful for all his help and support."
Listening to her praise for her husband, I know there would hardly be any points on which her husband might have been irritated during the pregnancy. And I ask her about the same.
“No, nothing” she says, without even pausing to think if there was something that might have irritated him. “He was always patient, and extremely caring towards me. He would always check how I was feeling and was very concerned that I be comfortable all the time.”
"One minute a mom, next a friend"
Managing a boy is tough, and managing two boys in the house is even tougher, especially when there is a little lady to be looked after and pampered as well. So it is a tough task for Vinaya to keep discipline in the house and at the same time taking care that she does not overdo it all the time. “Sometimes I have to be extremely firm with them, sometimes I am the peace-maker, sometimes I am the judge, maybe scolding one and consoling the other. And sometimes I am a friend. So it is a constant juggling between the two. When the situation tends to get rough and out-of-hand, I am always the mother. Other times I am their friend” she smiles with a twinkle in her eye, something that her kids have surely inherited, add to that a hint of mischief.
Vinaya’s three little ones are growing up fast. The first-born is now a responsible elder brother, the twins have begun school and are learning to face life as individuals, as well as a team, as is the case with twins. And each day of her motherhood is etched firmly in Vinaya’s mind.
“It was very hectic with my twins, the initial years rushed past in a haze. But there is one thing that I experienced with my first-born that I will hold dear in my heart.
"Taking him in my arms for the first time made my life complete."
After the C-sec her son had been taken away for the routine examinations. The entire process was so overwhelming that Vinaya had still not realised what it meant to be a mother. “After about 3-4 hours of the delivery, they handed me my baby, and as I took him in my arms for the first time and kissed him on the forehead, I felt as if my heart would burst open with emotions. It was a feeling that I can never describe in words, yet that one moment made me feel complete as a woman. Holding my son in my arms was the best thing that could ever have happened to me” she gushes with emotions choking her voice.
Of course, holding your little one in your arms for the first time is a never-to-be-forgotten experience, one that no mother can describe, but will tell you that it is by far the best thing she has ever felt. And Vinaya went through this experience thrice.
A house full of children and a house full of happiness. We wish Vinaya, Dhruv, Jeet and Jiya and the entire family a wonderful experience and a happy life always. Happy Parenting!
Ruby Chakravarti And Her Little One Omisha
Every one of us has some time or the other cribbed when we were expecting. We have told our partners that they are never home on time, we have told them they should give us more attention and spend more time with us, we have sometimes been depressed when they have had to work on a weekend and rob us of the chance to be together, especially when those pregnancy blues hit us.
We have all been guilty of this, one time or the other.
So how would you react when I tell you about this young woman, who never ever got a chance to see her husband when she was pregnant? Who only heard his voice five days a week over the telephone and told him over long-distance how it was to be going through this amazing feeling, to see the changes in yourself and your life, to know that the little one who would soon arrive to be a part of your family was already lying inside in wait?
This is what Ruby Chakravarti went through during her pregnancy. Her husband, who is with the marines, was called to duty almost immediately after the young couple learnt of the pregnancy. And since there was no one to look after her during the coming months, her husband took her to her maternal home. And five days a week, throughout her pregnancy, he called her to know how she was, how the baby was doing, and what did it feel like to experience this joy.
Ruby, who is now 29 and had a C-sec delivery, is the proud mother to three-n-half year old daughter Omisha. Spending all her pregnancy months at her mother’s place, there were many things she was told to do, things that would ensure a healthy baby, things that would ease her delivery as well, but it was difficult for Ruby to understand what really to believe and what to give a pass.
“Mothers will always be mothers, concerned, caring and over-protective. So my mother too was nothing different. And there were a list of things she had already prepared for me to follow” Ruby smiles.
“One of the things I remember her telling me is that I should have lots and lots of coconut and coconut water, so that I have a fair child. But since I hate coconut, I hardly listened. And now my daughter is of wheatish complexion, but it is only sensible you know, since both my husband and I are of a wheatish complexion” she laughs.
Ruby definitely thinks becoming a mother has changed her as a person, and of course for the better. “I have become extremely caring now, and a lot more emotional than I was before. And one thing that has definitely changed after the birth of my daughter is my outlook towards kids in general. Earlier I never had a maternal instinct and I would get very irritated when I saw kids who were naughty or creating too much noise or crying. Now, after I had my daughter, I can see all that irritation has been replaced by love and understanding.”
To be a mother or to be a friend is a question every mother today asks herself. And Ruby is no different. “I definitely want to be a friend to her” she says with a nod of her head. Since her husband is away on the ship for months on end, it is only her and her daughter at home. And without her having to mention it, we know it can get very lonely and difficult to raise your child on your own. “We are friends” she says. “She has only me and I have only her around. I can’t afford to scold and discipline her all the time. Rather, we are more like friends, I take her out to the movies, to the mall, to the garden, and we have a good time together, all by ourselves, every day” Ruby smiles, sharing the secret of handling the pressures of raising a child all by herself, without any help from her partner (who misses his wife and kid every moment he is away), or help from any relative or maid.
But I am curious and I ask her what I have asked my other friends too.
“There must have been something that irritated your partner when you were pregnant? Any mood swings, any nagging, anything?” I ask her, trying to help her with the obvious clues.
But she sits quietly on the divan, trying to think of something. And she finally shakes her head.
“He never got a chance to see me then. And whatever interaction we had was always over the phone. And those few minutes that we spoke, he would always check after my health and ask how the baby was doing. He was extremely extremely concerned and caring.”
Many moments have passed and it has been years now that Ruby has been with her daughter on her own. And it is lovely to see how this mother-daughter bond. And even though Omisha is now a little lady who has begun school, her mother remembers each and every moment of having her daughter in her life, as if it was only yesterday that she was born. “I had a C-sec operation. Some time after the delivery, I was taken to the doctor’s room where my baby was lying on a small tray. The moment I began speaking with the doctor, my daughter turned her head and began saying mumumumum…..it was AMAZING and the look on the nurse and the doctor’s face was that of astonishment. I have no words to describe how I felt then. My daughter knew it was me!!! Can you believe that?”
Yes, I can. For wasn’t it the sweetest voice Omisha had heard in all those nine months she was already with her mother?
It is so right when we say that nothing and nobody can ever be even close to what a mother is…..
Wishing Ruby, Omisha and the family a wonderful experience and a happy life always. Happy parenting!
We have all been guilty of this, one time or the other.
So how would you react when I tell you about this young woman, who never ever got a chance to see her husband when she was pregnant? Who only heard his voice five days a week over the telephone and told him over long-distance how it was to be going through this amazing feeling, to see the changes in yourself and your life, to know that the little one who would soon arrive to be a part of your family was already lying inside in wait?
This is what Ruby Chakravarti went through during her pregnancy. Her husband, who is with the marines, was called to duty almost immediately after the young couple learnt of the pregnancy. And since there was no one to look after her during the coming months, her husband took her to her maternal home. And five days a week, throughout her pregnancy, he called her to know how she was, how the baby was doing, and what did it feel like to experience this joy.
Ruby, who is now 29 and had a C-sec delivery, is the proud mother to three-n-half year old daughter Omisha. Spending all her pregnancy months at her mother’s place, there were many things she was told to do, things that would ensure a healthy baby, things that would ease her delivery as well, but it was difficult for Ruby to understand what really to believe and what to give a pass.
“Mothers will always be mothers, concerned, caring and over-protective. So my mother too was nothing different. And there were a list of things she had already prepared for me to follow” Ruby smiles.
“One of the things I remember her telling me is that I should have lots and lots of coconut and coconut water, so that I have a fair child. But since I hate coconut, I hardly listened. And now my daughter is of wheatish complexion, but it is only sensible you know, since both my husband and I are of a wheatish complexion” she laughs.
Ruby definitely thinks becoming a mother has changed her as a person, and of course for the better. “I have become extremely caring now, and a lot more emotional than I was before. And one thing that has definitely changed after the birth of my daughter is my outlook towards kids in general. Earlier I never had a maternal instinct and I would get very irritated when I saw kids who were naughty or creating too much noise or crying. Now, after I had my daughter, I can see all that irritation has been replaced by love and understanding.”
To be a mother or to be a friend is a question every mother today asks herself. And Ruby is no different. “I definitely want to be a friend to her” she says with a nod of her head. Since her husband is away on the ship for months on end, it is only her and her daughter at home. And without her having to mention it, we know it can get very lonely and difficult to raise your child on your own. “We are friends” she says. “She has only me and I have only her around. I can’t afford to scold and discipline her all the time. Rather, we are more like friends, I take her out to the movies, to the mall, to the garden, and we have a good time together, all by ourselves, every day” Ruby smiles, sharing the secret of handling the pressures of raising a child all by herself, without any help from her partner (who misses his wife and kid every moment he is away), or help from any relative or maid.
But I am curious and I ask her what I have asked my other friends too.
“There must have been something that irritated your partner when you were pregnant? Any mood swings, any nagging, anything?” I ask her, trying to help her with the obvious clues.
But she sits quietly on the divan, trying to think of something. And she finally shakes her head.
“He never got a chance to see me then. And whatever interaction we had was always over the phone. And those few minutes that we spoke, he would always check after my health and ask how the baby was doing. He was extremely extremely concerned and caring.”
Many moments have passed and it has been years now that Ruby has been with her daughter on her own. And it is lovely to see how this mother-daughter bond. And even though Omisha is now a little lady who has begun school, her mother remembers each and every moment of having her daughter in her life, as if it was only yesterday that she was born. “I had a C-sec operation. Some time after the delivery, I was taken to the doctor’s room where my baby was lying on a small tray. The moment I began speaking with the doctor, my daughter turned her head and began saying mumumumum…..it was AMAZING and the look on the nurse and the doctor’s face was that of astonishment. I have no words to describe how I felt then. My daughter knew it was me!!! Can you believe that?”
Yes, I can. For wasn’t it the sweetest voice Omisha had heard in all those nine months she was already with her mother?
It is so right when we say that nothing and nobody can ever be even close to what a mother is…..
Wishing Ruby, Omisha and the family a wonderful experience and a happy life always. Happy parenting!
Vegetable and Noodle/Pasta Soup
Its the rainy season and thankfully the heat has subsided. Schools have started and again we are back to worrying what new to make each day for those evening snacks. Giving your kid the same thing day-after-day will ensure they end up not having it, and it is upto you to come up with new and delicious yet healthy recipes so that their taste buds are adequately tickled.
Here is a simple soup preparation that is made with vegetables and noodles or pasta, whichever your child likes more or whichever is available that moment at home :)
What you need:
carrots, spring onions, spinach and beans, finely diced and steamed
steamed green peas, corn
noodles or pasta
corn flour
tomato ketchup
black pepper powder
salt to taste
soya sauce
water
cream/butter (optional)
Maggi masala cubes (optional)
How to make:
In a big pan, pour some water and put in the steamed vegetables and noodles/pasta.
Bring to a boil.
Put in salt as per taste.
Put a pinch of black pepper powder.
Put in some tomato ketchup and soya sauce and stir to mix well.
In a small bowl take one tbsp corn flour and mix with water. Stir well so that no lumps are formed.
Now add this mix to the vegetables that are already cooking.
You can also add some Maggi Masala cubes if you wish.
Mix well, stir occasionally.
As soon as the vegetables and the noodles/pasta are cooked, take off the gas.
You can add cream/butter if you wish.
To turn this into a non-vegetarian soup, simply add steamed pieces of chicken.
Also, you can use Maggi noodles instead of regular noodles to give it a yummier flavour :)
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Namita And Her Little One Nupur......
"No amount of handling deliveries as a doctor had prepared me for this"
Dr. Namita Lolge is a proud mother to 3-n-half year old daughter Nupur. A doctor by profession, who has helped many women deliver babies, it was a never-to-be-forgotten moment for her when she first held her child in her arms.
"I have delivered many babies under my own supervision, and every time a mother held her newborn in her arms, it gave me a huge sense of satisfaction to bring that smile on her face. But nothing could have prepared me for the joy and amazement I felt when my own daughter was born."
Namita, who is now 32, had a natural delivery.
"There are so many things you hear when you are pregnant. But being a doctor I never believed in any myths or superstitions. And since I myself was aware of the changes my body was going through, I think it made me more careful and understanding of my moods and behaviour" she says. But then, with a sudden chuckle, she goes on to add a funny incident.
Myth - "Look at a smiling baby and your baby will be born happy!"
"I conceived while we were living in Hong Kong. And all through the pregnancy I was there. When you are pregnant, you are told to look at beautiful and smiling pictures of babies, so that your baby also turns out to be happy and smiling. Some people also ask you to put up pictures of happy babies in your room so that you see these babies on the wall and eventually have a baby who will look as happy as these little ones. I of course did not believe in any such remarks. But it was funny when my daughter was born, coz though I am a Punjabi and my husband is a Maharashtrian, our daughter inherited features that give her a kind of Chinese look" she says with a wink.
The Changes:
Becoming a mother has surely changed Namita as a person. She has become more calm and tolerant for sure. And her outlook towards babies and kids has undergone a huge change. "Earlier I used to be irritated when babies would cry or when young kids would prance around and be naughty. Now, when I experience these same things with my daughter, I realise how much I have changed as a person. I don't find these traits annoying in other kids anymore."
"A mix of both is what I want to be"
Today's mothers have the added responsibility of trying to keep up a friendship with their children. And Dr. Namita is no exception. When asked if she would like to be more of a mother or more of a friend to her little one, her answer was ready. "A mix of both. I would like to be her friend and be a part of her life even when she grows up, to know her friends, her lifestyle and her love interests, to have a rapport where she can share all her things and worries with me, but at the same time I would also want to be a mother, because sometimes there are situations which require you to be strict and firm. And you have to be a typical mother in such scenarios. So I would definitely try to make it a balance of both" she says.
"My driving used to drive my husband nuts!"
"Ok, so what were the things that irritated your hubby when you were pregs?" I ask her out of fun as we sit sipping from our tea cups.
"Ummm....he definitely was concerned that I wasn't confining myself to the house and that I was still driving." A big grin follows.....
"But aren't you supposed to not drive and roam around too much when you are pregnant?" I asked.
"The first three months are the most crucial. And later if you have no complications, you should try and lead a normal life as much as you can. Of course you have to make sure not to exert yourself and should keep a check on your and your little one's health, but other than that, you should continue your routine things like walking and going out and driving. Just be careful that's all." Coming from a doctor, that sounds assuring.
"And what else irritated him?"
"Oh..the one thing that drives all fathers-to-be crazy..My mood swings" she laughs. "And my food cravings. I developed such a sweet tooth in those days that every evening while coming home from work I would pick up boxes of sweets and come home and eat all of it. Plus after every meal I would still feel hunger pangs. So I used to get up in the middle of the night and drink cartons of milk from the fridge" she laughs, remembering those precious months.
"I will always remember....."
Nupur is now a little lady, she has started going to school and she is begining to have her own likes and dislikes. But one thing that still remains the same, in fact, has grown even more in all these years, is the bond that mother and daughter share. "I still remember the day she was born" says Namita. "It was a natural birth and my daughter was handed to me immediately after the initial examination. Much to everyone's astonishment I wasn't feeling tired or sleepy at all. So I wanted to enjoy that moment. Every time I picked her up in my arms she would be quiet and content. And the moment I put her down or someone else picked her up, she would begin to cry. It was an AWESOME moment for me. I had always imagined I would build a bond with my daughter as she grew up. But nothing could have prepared me to think she would start recognising her mother the moment she was born!"
Amazing, isnt it? How a little one can change your life in such a lovely way, make you a better person, and give you one of the most beautiful and purest relationships you could ever wish for..
We wish Namita, Nupur and the family a wonderful experience throughout.
UPDATE: Namita and Shlok are already on the way to become proud parents once again..Namita is in her third trimester now...So once again, we wish the happy family all the very best :)
Sunday, June 27, 2010
The Then And Now
I never thought a day would come
When I would admit they were so right,
When all that happened so long back
Would start over in a new day in a new time.
The way he held my hand in his
Her eyes never leaving sight,
I knew they were always somewhere around
I just had to turn back to their smile.
I was small she was my world
And his only world too was me,
They were then my bestest friend
And I knew it was the only way it could be.
Stepping out from the school bus
I would jump right into her arms,
Life was a child, all fairy tales and songs
They were my shield to every and all harms.
Poems turned to songs and words
Then to alphabets and numbers and plays,
New sights new sounds new friends new life
New things every single day.
As the dolls traded places with nail paint n stuff
As the girl grew up one day,
The bestest friends turned to best friends
And slowly from that to ‘Ma, baba, please stay away!’
I thought she wasn’t looking
When on the phone I would spend the night,
I would think he knew nothing about me
But somehow, he was always by my side.
Then one day that girl grew yet again
And a mother she happened to be,
A daughter was born and the cycle began
First it was theirs, now my turn to be.
All those things that my parents did then
That I hardly appreciated, hardly gave a thought,
I know now whatever I do or say
As good a parent like them I am still not.
They were right when they told me then
‘Grow up dear daughter then you will see,
You can tell us now to stay out of your life
But in our heart, forever you will be.’
The picture is same the characters same
Only the faces are what have changed,
For eternity now it’s true what is said
And the greatest blessing, a parent, has been named.
Today when I walk my daughter that way
Holding my little darling in my arms,
I know no matter how grown up she is
I will still shield her from all hurts and harms.
I laughed when you said I would always be a child
That for you a baby I would always remain,
Today I know what you meant then, baba, ma.....
For forever to me a child she too will remain.......
And like I always say and believe in:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children...' - MJ
Happy Parenting !!!!!
- Debolina Raja Gupta
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Its Toy Story 3 !!!!
Just came back from the movie and WHAT an experience !!!
Have you seen it yet? The new Toy Story...Toy Story 3... No??? Well, then that is what you absolutely have to experience this weekend, or if the weekend's already planned, then you definitely need to catch the movie this coming week.
It doesnt matter whether you have seen the previous two parts or no, for the best part about Toy Story is that though it is connected to the past, it is completely a new story with each sequel.
Book your tickets right now and make a plan with your little ones, their friends and their parents...Coz this is one 3-D experience that everyone is sure gonna love. Get inside the world of Woody, Buzz, Mr. and Mrs. Potato, Ham, Rek the Dino and so many more friends as they embark on a thrilling adventure from Andy's house to the world outside.....
Friday, June 25, 2010
Knowing You Are Pregnant !!!!
Of all the women out there who became pregnant at some time or the other, not all realised they were pregnant immediately. In most cases, the pregnancy went undetected for the first one or two months.
Of course there are many ways by which your body tells you that you are carrying a little one inside, and there are tests available in the market too that let you check the same. But in reality, even when we might find something amiss, we do not always realise that one fact that is going to bulge out pretty soon anyway - that we are pregnant!!!!
When I conceived I didn't realise it for almost a month and a half. The usual lifestyle carried on and I was oblivious to the fact of a new life getting shape within. It was a mix of a few signs that eventually led me to a test:
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Where To Give Birth.....
Which is the best place for you to give birth?
That is a question you can best answer yourself. There are so many options available today for an expecting couple that if I start to jot them all down now, there would hardly be space for anything else in this article at all.
Earlier there weren’t so many choices available. All you had to do was register your name with a nearby hospital and reach there as soon as the water broke, or, if you were one of those rare patients to have been recommended an operation baby, reach there on time.
Today the choices are vast. You have your regular hospitals, your five-star style hospitals, your nursing homes, your super-stylish nursing homes, clinics that are equipped to handle deliveries, private homes that have in-house medical teams and where you and one or more member from your family can live for all of your last trimester till the baby arrives!!!! and more…..
The choice is yours……
But some of the key things you need to keep in mind are:
The distance to the hospital from where you are staying
How helpful the staff is
Do a little research and get to know the reputation of this particular institute
If you have an insurance will it cover this hospital
Are the doctors friendly and good
Is the place hygienic
Will the room where you will stay after the delivery be clean and will there be enough staff available to attend to multiple post-natal cases
Check the NICU (Newborn Intensive Care Unit) to see how hygienic it is and how is the staff here, as many babies are placed in the NICU right after birth
What are the emergency admission procedures
If you can, have a word with someone who has given birth at this place so that you know how well trained and well-equipped the doctors and nurses are.
REMEMBER to register your name with the hospital or institute of your choice well in advance. Many places take bookings as early as 5 months before the baby is due. Check with your doctor and they will advise and help you accordingly.
Selecting The Right Doctor For You and Your Little One
Selecting the right doctor for you and your little one:
One of the most important and critical decisions that you make during your pregnancy is selecting a doctor for you and your little one. From the moment you break the good news that you are expecting, you will receive countless recommendations from family and friends. It is of course necessary that you take into consideration the experiences and recommendations from people you know, but don’t blindly select a doctor just because your sister or your best friend told you to. After all, a doctor who was great for a friend may not be as perfect for you.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
When To Start Your Family
This is one of the questions that many couples face at some stage in their relationship:
What is the ideal time to start a family?
Every couple has its own understanding and circumstances and no one can tell you the perfect time to have a baby than you and your partner.
For many couples, the best time to have a baby is as soon as they are settled in a relationship. Some couples believe that the next step after getting married is to have a baby and start a family. Some believe in giving each other some quality time and then starting a family. Others believe in giving themselves time to achieve their professional goals and then start a family. Some couples might have other points on the agenda like purchasing a house first and then having a baby. There are factors at play in every couple’s life that decide which is the best time for them to start thinking of having a baby.
Here are a few points that may help you in making a decision:
1.Money is important. Having a newborn in the family needs to be backed up by some financial stability. Once your pregnancy is confirmed, you will be spending as much time in the doctor's office and lab as much as you spend in your own home. You dont have to be the richest person around, but it is always better to have your finances in control, rather than be in a situation where you are in a long debt or are in-and-out of jobs. The innumerable tests, the doctor visits, the medicines, the hospitalisation, not to mention other miscellaneous costs, all this will result in a big fat bill. Of course one of the first things you need to also check is to talk to your medical insurance guy. So one thing you always need to ask yourself and talk with your partner is whether you are financially settled to take the responsibility of a newborn.
2.Time is important. A newborn requires ALL your time and attention, not to mention your constant love. Will you be able to devote the time and attention that a newborn requires? If you need to be away from home for some time, will your partner be ready to take the responsibility of the baby? If you are a working woman, will your job profile allow you to be away from work for two-three months? How much time will your partner be able to devote to the baby?
3. Getting professional care for your little one. Have you thought of any outside help for your baby if you or your partner are occupied with something? If you are going to keep some help at home for the baby, have you checked the kinds of nannies available in your area? Are they reliable? Are they safe and hygienic? Will you be comfortable leaving your little one alone with this person? If you need any extra help, do you have family or friends who can help? If you are planning to become a working mother, are there good day-care centres near your home or work place?
4.Check your own health first. Are you medically fit to have a baby? Before you plan a baby, it is mandatory that you and your partner run a series of tests. Check with a gynaecologist who will refer you the tests that need to be carried out. Talk to your respective parents to know of any illness in the family and any illness that you may have had as a child.
5.Check your emotional compatibility and your thoughts about when to have the baby. Are you and your partner both on the same thought level here or is it only one of you who wants a baby? Never rush into having a baby just because your partner wants it. You need to want to be a parent as much and this holds true for both the partners. Are you mentally and emotionally prepared to become a parent? If you are a working woman, are you going to quit your job on your own for the baby or is it a pressure from the spouse? If you are a working woman and are planning to stay at home after the baby, are you mentally prepared and happy about this new phase of your life? If you are the man, are you ready for this change in your life right now, are you sure you will be able to comfortably handle the responsibility of looking after a newborn, both economically as well as emotionally? Remember, the mother is the most vital person in a newborn's life, but the father is equally important too.
Having a baby is one of the best experiences of your life. A baby not only brings joy to everyone around, it will also make your life special each day in a new way. Make sure that both you and your partner are aligned to the idea of having a child. Remember, a baby is completely dependent on your love and care and attention. And it is your responsibility to make sure that your baby receives your complete love and care. If there is any doubt in your mind about having a baby now, talk to your partner and try to resolve your issues. It is always better to plan first and then have a baby, rather than have a baby and then regret having what is so pure and adorable. There is nothing as the perfect time or the wrong time to have a baby, so decide for yourself what is ‘your’ time to have a baby.
Questions You May Have About the Expected Little One: Diary of A New Mum
You are about to become a parent, or planning to start a family, and there are a million questions running about in your head right now.
Starting from when is the right time to start a family, to who would be the best doctor for your little one and you, to which would be the ideal place to give birth, how will you learn to take care of an infant, what happens right before the baby arrives, how will you take care of yourself, how will you handle the mood changes and the mood swings, can you be close to your partner physically while you are pregnant, how will you ever be able to strike a balance between baby and hubby, will life ever get back to what and how it was before, will you be able to get back to work, what to eat while feeding, how will you lose the baby weight, how to feed baby, what to give the baby once the initial feeding days are over, what check-ups baby needs, how to encourage your baby towards the various milestones it will eventually achieve, how to get the father involved in child-care, how to make your home baby-safe, what is a good time to have a sibling, how to make sure you are caring for your baby in the right way but at the same time not overdoing it….well, these are just a handful of the many questions you will be facing right now…and it’s only natural.
Every parent, especially the would-be mother, faces a time when she wants to know what it will be like when the baby arrives. Being pregnant, and giving birth to your little one, is something that cannot be explained - it can only be experienced - and no words are good enough to tell you the feeling that becoming a mother brings to a woman. For the father, it will be an experience he will cherish and love the most for the rest of his life.
Planning a baby is something that needs to be discussed between both the adults involved. It is a lifelong commitment and both you and your partner need to have the same thought process to plan a baby. There are many things that need to be taken into account before you start a family, and once the baby arrives, there are a million more things that you will need to keep yourself updated about, a million things that you will need to check on and keep in mind. But the best part about being a parent is that you learn everything hands-on. Since being a parent is a 24*7 on-job training, you will learn and experience new things each moment of your parenthood. Of course the advice from friends and family and the many things that you read about parenting are also extremely helpful, they will give you an idea of what to expect and how to deal with things. But how to deal with your little one is something that you will learn as you grow as a parent with your child, no one can be a better judge of your baby’s needs than you, and it will be your mother’s instincts that will guide you on many occasions.
Right now you will feel confused, scared perhaps at the new responsibility, and also curious to know what lies ahead. So let’s slow down a little and take each question and thought one at a time. It is okay to experience confusion and helplessness at this stage. Be sure to discuss all your concerns with your partner. Sometimes, a good talk with your loved one will go a long way in relieving many of the stress. Be happy and start enjoying the feeling, and soon you will see this joy reflected in your little one as well.
The 12th Month
What your little one may be doing now:
By the twelfth month your baby should be able to walk by holding to furniture, use gestures to show needs.
Many babies will be able to pick up tiny objects neatly with tip of the thumb and finger, be able to clap or wave bye, drink from a cup independently, stand alone for a few seconds or minute, say one or two words other than’ mamma’ ‘papa’.
Some babies will be able to stand alone well, play with a ball and even roll it back, speak in baby language that may sound like gibberish, walk well.
A few, but not all, babies will be able to say three or more words other than’ mamma’ ‘papa’, respond to a command without a gesture.
Note:
It is important to note here that not all babies will reach these milestones at the exact same age. One baby might learn something at one month of age, another might learn the same at three months of age. This does in no way imply a lack of intelligence or development on the part of your little one.
Remember, each baby is special in its own way and need their own time to adjust to situations and to learn new things. Do not panic if your baby is not doing what your friend's same-age baby is doing already. Keep an eye on your child and note their daily movements. Sometimes, these activities will be so short in their time span that you may have a chance of not noticing at all, unless you keep paying constant attention. However, if there is constant and marked delay in all of baby's responses, do consult baby's doctor about the same and discuss anything that is on your mind.
Let your baby get all your love and attention. The complete care and love of parents goes a long way in baby's development.
The 11th Month
What your little one may be doing now:
By the eleventh month your baby should be able to get into sitting position from stomach, understand when you say ‘NO’ but “NEVER’ or hardly obey, pick up tiny objects neatly with tip of the thumb and finger.
Many babies will be able to clap or wave bye, walk by holding to furniture, point at things.
Some babies will be able to stand alone for a few seconds or minute, say one or two words other than’ mamma’ ‘papa’.
A few, but not all, babies will be able to drink from a cup independently, play with a ball and even roll it back, stand alone well, show what they need by other means instead of only crying, respond to a command without a gesture, speak in baby language that may sound like gibberish, walk well, say three or more words other than’ mamma’ ‘papa’.
Note:
It is important to note here that not all babies will reach these milestones at the exact same age. One baby might learn something at one month of age, another might learn the same at three months of age. This does in no way imply a lack of intelligence or development on the part of your little one.
Remember, each baby is special in its own way and need their own time to adjust to situations and to learn new things. Do not panic if your baby is not doing what your friend's same-age baby is doing already. Keep an eye on your child and note their daily movements. Sometimes, these activities will be so short in their time span that you may have a chance of not noticing at all, unless you keep paying constant attention. However, if there is constant and marked delay in all of baby's responses, do consult baby's doctor about the same and discuss anything that is on your mind.
Let your baby get all your love and attention. The complete care and love of parents goes a long way in baby's development.
The 10th Month
What your little one may be doing:
By the tenth month your baby should be able to stand on their own holding on to someone or something, object on taking away a toy, play peek-a-boo with fingers and hands, pull up to standing position on their own from sitting, say ‘ma’ ‘mamma’ ‘baba’ ‘papa’, begin doing gestures.
Many babies will be able to get into sitting position from stomach, walk by holding to furniture, pick up tiny objects neatly with tip of the thumb and finger, understand when you say ‘NO’ but “NEVER’ or hardly obey, be able to clap or wave bye.
Some babies will be able to stand alone for a few seconds or minute, say one or two words other than’ mamma’ ‘papa’, point at things.
A few, but not all, babies will be able to play with a ball and even roll it back, stand alone well, drink from a cup on their own, pick up tiny objects neatly with tip of the thumb and finger, respond to a command with a gesture, show what they need by other means instead of only crying, speak in baby language that may sound like gibberish, walk well.
Note:
It is important to note here that not all babies will reach these milestones at the exact same age. One baby might learn something at one month of age, another might learn the same at three months of age. This does in no way imply a lack of intelligence or development on the part of your little one.
Remember, each baby is special in its own way and need their own time to adjust to situations and to learn new things. Do not panic if your baby is not doing what your friend's same-age baby is doing already. Keep an eye on your child and note their daily movements. Sometimes, these activities will be so short in their time span that you may have a chance of not noticing at all, unless you keep paying constant attention. However, if there is constant and marked delay in all of baby's responses, do consult baby's doctor about the same and discuss anything that is on your mind.
Let your baby get all your love and attention. The complete care and love of parents goes a long way in baby's development.
The 09th Month
What your little one may be doing now:
By the ninth month your baby should be able to try and get a toy that is out of reach, look for an object that has fallen down.
Many babies will be able to get into sitting position from stomach, stand on their own holding on to someone or something, try and grasp an object and pick it up in the fist, pull up to standing position on their own from sitting, say ‘ma’ ‘mamma’ ‘baba’ ‘papa’, crawl, object strongly when you take away a toy, play peek-a-boo with fingers and hands.
Some babies will be able to clap or wave bye, walk by holding to furniture, stand alone for a few seconds or minute, understand when you say ‘NO’ but “NEVER’ or hardly obey.
A few, but not all, babies will be able to stand alone for a few seconds or minute, stand alone on their own, say one or two words other than’ mamma’ ‘papa’, play with a ball and even roll it back, drink from a cup on their own, pick up tiny objects neatly with tip of the thumb and finger, respond to a command with a gesture.
Note:
It is important to note here that not all babies will reach these milestones at the exact same age. One baby might learn something at one month of age, another might learn the same at three months of age. This does in no way imply a lack of intelligence or development on the part of your little one.
Remember, each baby is special in its own way and need their own time to adjust to situations and to learn new things. Do not panic if your baby is not doing what your friend's same-age baby is doing already. Keep an eye on your child and note their daily movements. Sometimes, these activities will be so short in their time span that you may have a chance of not noticing at all, unless you keep paying constant attention. However, if there is constant and marked delay in all of baby's responses, do consult baby's doctor about the same and discuss anything that is on your mind.
Let your baby get all your love and attention. The complete care and love of parents goes a long way in baby's development.
The 08th Month
What your little one may be doing now:
By the eighth month your baby should be able to bear some weight on their legs when held upright, try and grasp an object and pick it up in the fist, feed self finger food, turn in the direction of a voice, look for an object that has fallen down.
Many babies will be able to pass a toy or object from one hand to another, stand on their own holding on to someone or something, get into sitting position from stomach, try and get a toy that is out of reach, object strongly when you take away a toy, play peek-a-boo with fingers and hands.
Some babies will be able to crawl, pull up to standing position on their own from sitting, try and grasp an object and pick it up in the fist, say ‘ma’ ‘mamma’ ‘baba’ ‘papa’.
A few, but not all, babies will be able to clap or wave bye, walk by holding to furniture, stand alone for a few seconds or minute, understand when you say ‘NO’ but “NEVER’ or hardly obey.
Note:
It is important to note here that not all babies will reach these milestones at the exact same age. One baby might learn something at one month of age, another might learn the same at three months of age. This does in no way imply a lack of intelligence or development on the part of your little one.
Remember, each baby is special in its own way and need their own time to adjust to situations and to learn new things. Do not panic if your baby is not doing what your friend's same-age baby is doing already. Keep an eye on your child and note their daily movements. Sometimes, these activities will be so short in their time span that you may have a chance of not noticing at all, unless you keep paying constant attention. However, if there is constant and marked delay in all of baby's responses, do consult baby's doctor about the same and discuss anything that is on your mind.
Let your baby get all your love and attention. The complete care and love of parents goes a long way in baby's development.
The 07th month
What your little one might be doing now:
By seven months your baby should be able to self feed finger foods like cookies, make a wet sound, smile often, make sounds when happy.
Many babies will be able to sit without support, be able to bear some weight on their legs when held upright, try and get a toy that is out of reach, object strongly when you take away a toy, look for an object that has fallen down, pass a toy or some object from one hand to another, try and grasp an object and pick it up in the fist, babble and make different sounds like ma-ma da-da pa-pa ba-ba, play peek-a-boo with fingers and hands.
Some babies might be able to crawl, pass a toy or object from one hand to another, stand on their own holding on to someone or something.
A few, but not all, babies may be able to get into sitting position from stomach, pull up to standing position on their own from sitting, clap or wave bye, walk by holding to furniture, say ‘ma’ ‘mamma’ ‘baba’ ‘papa’.
Note:
It is important to note here that not all babies will reach these milestones at the exact same age. One baby might learn something at one month of age, another might learn the same at three months of age. This does in no way imply a lack of intelligence or development on the part of your little one.
Remember, each baby is special in its own way and need their own time to adjust to situations and to learn new things. Do not panic if your baby is not doing what your friend's same-age baby is doing already. Keep an eye on your child and note their daily movements. Sometimes, these activities will be so short in their time span that you may have a chance of not noticing at all, unless you keep paying constant attention. However, if there is constant and marked delay in all of baby's responses, do consult baby's doctor about the same and discuss anything that is on your mind.
Let your baby get all your love and attention. The complete care and love of parents goes a long way in baby's development.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
The 06th Month
What your baby may be doing now:
By the sixth month your baby should be able to keep its head level with body when pulled to a sitting position, make vowel-consonant sounds.
Many babies may be able to sit without support, be able to bear some weight on their legs when held upright, turn in the direction of a voice other than that of mummy and papa, make wet sounds.
Some babies will be able to stand on their own holding on to someone or something, try and get a toy that is out of reach, look for an object that has fallen down, pass a toy or some object from one hand to another, try and grasp an object and pick it up in the fist, babble and make different sounds like ma-ma da-da pa-pa ba-ba, feed self finger food.
A few, but not all, babies may be able to crawl, pull up to standing position on their own from sitting, get into sitting position from stomach, pick up tiny objects with thumb and finger, say ‘ma’ ‘mamma’ ‘baba’ ‘papa’.
Note:
It is important to note here that not all babies will reach these milestones at the exact same age. One baby might learn something at one month of age, another might learn the same at three months of age. This does in no way imply a lack of intelligence or development on the part of your little one.
Remember, each baby is special in its own way and need their own time to adjust to situations and to learn new things. Do not panic if your baby is not doing what your friend's same-age baby is doing already. Keep an eye on your child and note their daily movements. Sometimes, these activities will be so short in their time span that you may have a chance of not noticing at all, unless you keep paying constant attention. However, if there is constant and marked delay in all of baby's responses, do consult baby's doctor about the same and discuss anything that is on your mind.
Let your baby get all your love and attention. The complete care and love of parents goes a long way in baby's development.
The 05th Month
What your little one may be doing now:
By the fifth month your baby should be able to raise chest supported by arms while lying on its stomach, hold head steady when held upright, pay attention to a small object and reach out for the same, try and grasp a rattle with fingers or tip of fingers, squeal in delight, smile on its own and smile back when you smile, keep head level with body when held in a sitting position.
Many babies may be able to try and roll over to one side, be able to bear some weight on their legs when held upright, make noises that are vowel-consonant, turn in the direction of a voice other than that of mummy and papa.
Some babies can also sit without any support.
A few, but not all, babies may be able to stand on their own holding on to someone or something, try and get a toy that is out of reach, pull up to standing position from sitting, look for an object that has fallen down, pass a toy or some object from one hand to another, try and grasp an object and pick it up in the fist, babble and make different sounds like ma-ma da-da pa-pa ba-ba.
Note:
It is important to note here that not all babies will reach these milestones at the exact same age. One baby might learn something at one month of age, another might learn the same at three months of age. This does in no way imply a lack of intelligence or development on the part of your little one.
Remember, each baby is special in its own way and need their own time to adjust to situations and to learn new things. Do not panic if your baby is not doing what your friend's same-age baby is doing already. Keep an eye on your child and note their daily movements. Sometimes, these activities will be so short in their time span that you may have a chance of not noticing at all, unless you keep paying constant attention. However, if there is constant and marked delay in all of baby's responses, do consult baby's doctor about the same and discuss anything that is on your mind.
Let your baby get all your love and attention. The complete care and love of parents goes a long way in baby's development.
The 04th Month
What your little one may be doing now:
By the fourth month your baby should be able to laugh out loud, lift head on its own while lying on the stomach and move its head side to side while focusing on an object.
Many babies may be able to hold their head steady when held upright, raise chest supported by arms while lying on its stomach, pay attention to a small object and reach out for the same, try and grasp a rattle with fingers or tip of fingers, squeal in delight.
Some babies may be able to keep head level with body when held in a sitting position, turn in the direction of a voice, especially that of mummy or papa, make noises that are vowel-consonant.
A few, but not all, babies may also be able to try and sit up without support, be able to bear some weight on their legs when held upright, show displeasure when you take away a toy and turn in the direction of a voice other than that of mummy and papa.
Note:
It is important to note here that not all babies will reach these milestones at the exact same age. One baby might learn something at one month of age, another might learn the same at three months of age. This does in no way imply a lack of intelligence or development on the part of your little one.
Remember, each baby is special in its own way and need their own time to adjust to situations and to learn new things. Do not panic if your baby is not doing what your friend's same-age baby is doing already. Keep an eye on your child and note their daily movements. Sometimes, these activities will be so short in their time span that you may have a chance of not noticing at all, unless you keep paying constant attention. However, if there is constant and marked delay in all of baby's responses, do consult baby's doctor about the same and discuss anything that is on your mind.
Let your baby get all your love and attention. The complete care and love of parents goes a long way in baby's development.
The 03rd Month
What your little one may be doing now:
By the third month your baby should be able to lift its head properly while lying on the stomach.
Many babies may be able to make a laughing sound and also lift their head on their own while lying on their stomach, squeal in delight, try and bring both hands together, try and lift their heads while lying on stomach, make a laughing sound, may move their head side to side while focusing on an object.
A few, but not all, babies can also reach out for an object, be able to bear some weight on their legs when held upright, turn in the direction of a voice, especially that of mummy or papa, make noises that are vowel-consonant, may be able to keep head level with body when held in a sitting position, may also make a wet sound.
Note:
It is important to note here that not all babies will reach these milestones at the exact same age. One baby might learn something at one month of age, another might learn the same at three months of age. This does in no way imply a lack of intelligence or development on the part of your little one.
Remember, each baby is special in its own way and need their own time to adjust to situations and to learn new things. Do not panic if your baby is not doing what your friend's same-age baby is doing already. Keep an eye on your child and note their daily movements. Sometimes, these activities will be so short in their time span that you may have a chance of not noticing at all, unless you keep paying constant attention. However, if there is constant and marked delay in all of baby's responses, do consult baby's doctor about the same and discuss anything that is on your mind.
Let your baby get all your love and attention. The complete care and love of parents goes a long way in baby's development.
The 02nd Month
What your little one may be doing now:
By the second month your baby should be able to smile in response to a smile and also respond to a sound in some way, by crying, becoming quiet or getting startled.
Many babies may be able to make sounds other than crying and also lift their head to a certain angle.
Some babies will also be able to hold their head steady when upright, raise their chest supported by arms when lying on their stomach, try and roll to one side, try and touch a rattle with their fingers, pay attention to small objects and also try to reach for an object, try and make some sound.
A few, but not all, babies can also smile in response, try and bring both hands together, try and lift their heads while lying on stomach, make a laughing sound, may move their head side to side while focusing on an object.
Note:
It is important to note here that not all babies will reach these milestones at the exact same age. One baby might learn something at one month of age, another might learn the same at three months of age. This does in no way imply a lack of intelligence or development on the part of your little one.
Remember, each baby is special in its own way and need their own time to adjust to situations and to learn new things. Do not panic if your baby is not doing what your friend's same-age baby is doing already. Keep an eye on your child and note their daily movements. Sometimes, these activities will be so short in their time span that you may have a chance of not noticing at all, unless you keep paying constant attention. However, if there is constant and marked delay in all of baby's responses, do consult baby's doctor about the same and discuss anything that is on your mind.
Let your baby get all your love and attention. The complete care and love of parents goes a long way in baby's development.
The 01st Month
What your little one may be doing now:
By the first month your baby will be able to focus on a face and also be able to lift its head briefly when lying on a flat surface on the stomach.
A few, but not all, babies may be able to respond to a sound in some way, by crying, becoming quiet or getting startled.
Note:
It is important to note here that not all babies will reach these milestones at the exact same age. One baby might learn something at one month of age, another might learn the same at three months of age. This does in no way imply a lack of intelligence or development on the part of your little one.
Remember, each baby is special in its own way and need their own time to adjust to situations and to learn new things. Do not panic if your baby is not doing what your friend's same-age baby is doing already. Keep an eye on your child and note their daily movements. Sometimes, these activities will be so short in their time span that you may have a chance of not noticing at all, unless you keep paying constant attention. However, if there is constant and marked delay in all of baby's responses, do consult baby's doctor about the same and discuss anything that is on your mind.
Let your baby get all your love and attention. The complete care and love of parents goes a long way in baby's development.
Monday, June 21, 2010
To You My Parents
This is the picture of the two people I respect the most in this world. Earlier I would have added the word 'love' too, but now there is a very tiny but very very strong candidate who has successfully captured that position forever - my own daughter.
These two people in the photograph are the ones who brought me into this world. They are my parents, the two people who know me probably much better than I know myself.
From the time I first opened my eyes to when I first tried to utter a word, when I sat up on my own or turned on my stomach, that first step I took and the first time I ate on my own - they are the two people who have seen and cherished it all. They are the ones who held my finger and taught me to walk, and later helped me hold a pencil in my hand and learn the first script. The ones who introduced me to the enchanting world of books, taught me how to express myself through words, told me that always coming first in life was not important, what was important was to give everything your best shot and to know that you did your best while at the same time being fair.
They are the ones who have always loved me unconditionally, even when I threw tantrums or was unreasonable and stubborn, their love and faith in me never wavered. When I was upset or angry they were always there to calm me, when I needed my space they always made sure I had my privacy while knowing they were just an arm's distance away.
They have always known me better than me, these two people, my parents.
When I was young I always told them not to worry about me, or, after I grew up, when they would talk about me - what I did when I was small and all those things of the past - I would tell them not to dwell on old things, I told them to stop thinking only about me and to do more about their own life. But I never realised that one day, I too would become just like them, that I too would be a parent. And that the only world I would know then would be the world around my child.
I understand their concerns now as I feel the same towards my daughter. I can share their excitement or their love in the way they talk about me when I was a little baby. I can recall each and every moment of my daughter's life myself and only I know how much joy it brings me to sometimes just sit back and reminisce. I can understand now why they worried so much all the time, I am no different a parent, I can now feel their anxieties and fears too.
What I am feeling only now is what they have felt for these last so many years.
These two precious people in my life, who never complained at any of my faults or idiosyncracies, who loved and believed in me despite all my greys and negatives, who were and still are the best parents ever, much more than I can ever imagine to be.
For everything good and important and helpful that I have, and will ever do as a parent, everything I have learned from you two.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
My Daughter's first Father's Day
Let me begin this by saying a Happy Father’s Day to all the wonderful fathers in every part of the world. Yes, I know being a father, and sharing the joys and responsibilities that come attached with it, aren’t just restricted to this one day in the year. But let’s just take the opportunity to tell all you amazing men out there how much of an idol you really are to your kids.
My daughter is too young to understand what Father’s Day means. But since she has just begun school, she was helped to make a card for her father by her teacher.
She came home a day before Father’s Day and told me excitedly there was a card in her school bag. ‘Baby made card” she said, ‘baby’ being herself. I took a look at the little card, it was a flower she had made using her tiny finger prints. I knew how special it was for her, and how much it would mean to the person for whom it was made. We kept it safely, away from any chances of being torn by the same hands that had made it, a desperate attempt made to keep it in piece till ‘dad’ returned home from work in the evening. When that evening she handed him the card with a big smile on her face and repeated Happy Father’s Day Papa, just as I had told her to, I could see all the tiredness of the day vanishing from my husband’s face. It was his first Father’s Day card ever, after all.
On Father’s Day I went and got a cake and a bouquet for the ‘father’ on my little daughter’s behalf. My daughter had been asking me for a cake for the last few days and this would solve the purpose of making both of them happy. Once the cake was sneaked in the door and quietly placed on the table, my daughter came hopping around. ‘CAKE!’ she shrieked with joy on seeing the thick chocolate slab on the table. I sat her down on my lap and explained to her that today was Father’s Day and that the cake was for her Father. ‘And?’ she asked, waiting for me to tell her that the cake was also for her. ‘And for you’ I smiled. That made her happy and content. So we waited for papa to come into the room. My daughter didn’t realize what all this was supposed to mean, but in her own little way she understood that this was something special and something fun, something that involved her papa and a cake and flowers and lots of hugs and kisses. She was already enjoying.
So when her papa finally saw the cake she knew it was now time to cut the cake and gobble it up. She promptly got up on a chair, waiting to get the chance to jump in. I told her to wish her father and to give him a big hug. As soon as the required hug was given, she turned back to the table, all attentions promptly on the cake. She never lost track of her objective for one minute.
Thus was celebrated the first Father’s Day in the life of my little one and her father. She was too young to understand most of it and will of course not have any memories of this day once she grows up, but I know my hubby will remember this day for the rest of his life, as will I, with each moment of this special day of bonding etched firmly in my heart and my mind.
And also, as I am enjoying this lovely moment, let me wish my father a very happy Father’s Day too. For being there with me always, for seeing me grow up and making sure that I grow up into a good human being first of all. To baba, with love, happy father’s day…….
Things You Should Never Tell A Pregnant Woman
Things you should never tell a pregnant woman (for your own benefit if you are the father):
1. Oh, you do look fat!
2. Are you near the due date already?
3. Are you having twins? Triplets?!
4. So, how does it feel?
5. Why is your skin so pale? Shouldn’t you be glowing?
6. Are you drinking milk all the time or no?
7. Why are your dark circles increasing each day?
8. What happened to your appetite? You eat like a horse these days!
9. Wow what a sexy dress, maybe you can wear it after your delivery
10.Here, take your drink, oh sorry I forgot, let me give you apple juice instead.
11.Wow I love those heels. You can always get back to wearing them after the delivery.
12.I hope you are happy with your doctor you know. I didn’t like her at all.
13.Those stretch marks will go away, right?!
14.But you just bought new clothes last month.
15.You are always sleepy, are you ok?
16.Can’t you walk a little faster?
17.Why is the house not as clean as it was before?
18.Wow, you look sexy being fat.
19.Gosh, you ARE fat!
20.You want to eat AGAIN?
21.Sleep as much as you can now because once the baby is here, you will never sleep.
22.Yes, yes you look wonderful, now can we go out please?
23.(Husband)You are not the only one who is pregnant you know, I too feel the pressures of becoming a parent.
24.So are you in the mood tonight?
25.Wow, look at that family of four, they look so complete. Maybe we can have another baby in a year or two. Caution – saying things like this could actually lead to a divorce.
26.Can we give your old clothes to charity? You won’t fit into them for the next two years I think.
27.I wonder how Malaika Arora looks like that even after a baby!
28.Are you going to have a natural birth? I heard it’s really really really painful.
29.You know I heard you can’t walk properly for two months after a caesarian.
30.The baby is in the tummy so why does all your body puff out?
31.I will not be in the delivery room at all (coming from the dad)
32.Why do you need so many pregnancy clothes? They all look the same anyway.
33.How will you lose all that flab?
34.Why are you always irritated?
35.Wow, it must be so wonderful to experience pregnancy.
36.I never had morning sickness.
37.That colleague of mine gave birth to twins and got back to her original figure in three months flat!
38.I wanted to get a gift basket for you, but since there was nothing interesting, I got for the soon-to-arrive baby instead.
39.Are you reading enough on parenting?
40.You will be a wonderful mother. After all, women are great at multitasking.
* There will be a million more comments out there that have irritated you. Do share them with our readers :)
Nobody and Yesbody
My daughter and I were sitting on the bed, me with a cup of tea in my hand, going through the newspaper, she busy with her many crayons and sketch pens scattered on the bed, the colouring book lying lifelessly on the floor, her dolls buried under the comforter. It was pouring heavily outside and I had closed the windows, but the occasional roar of the thunders still managed to come in now and then. At one such stage, when I was busy with a particularly interesting story in the paper, there was a huge thunderclap outside.
My daughter, who is yet to be three, is scared of thunders (and so am I but thats a secret). As soon as she heard the clouds she thought it was some monster outside and she asked me who it was. As I was too busy with the article I replied with a casual 'nobody.'
For a minute that seemed to satisfy her. But then her curiosity got the better of her.
'And?" she asked.
'And what?' I asked, without looking up from the paper, trying to keep her occupied with my monosyllables.
'Nobody and?'
'Nobody' I repeated.
'Nobody and?' she repeated as well.
I left the paper for a moment and looked at her.
She was sitting with a big question mark on her face, her wide eyes looking at me, waiting for the answer that I could see she had already formed in her head.
'And what baby?' I asked.
Asking her the same question she had asked had, on many previous occasions, brought out the answer itself.
'Nobody and Yesbody' she said with a smile, an achievement that she had managed to state what mommy had obviously not had the brains to realise :)
I couldn't help laughing then. I forgot all about the paper and my cup of tea and picked her up in my arms and gobbled her cheeks for a while, to which she rewarded me with those giggles.
Of course, how could I not have seen something so simple and yet obvious as only a baby can see? If there is a NO Body, there has to be a YES Body too !!! Just like there is a good and bad, a yes and no, a big and small...
In participating in the many rat races and following the survival rules in the concrete jungle, we have forgotten the basic simplicity that was inherent in all of us at one time. Thank god our little ones are there to remind us how simple and yet wonderful life can be......If only we could make our lives so simple as our little ones see it.....
Friday, June 18, 2010
Fun things to do with your child this monsoon....
The rains are making a splash in full force and your little one is stuck inside....No more parks, no more running outside with friends, no more cycling or walking...And no one can blame these little ones for getting cranky and bored. So here I am sharing a few fun things that you and your little one can do together this monsoon. The clouds are going to be around for the next two months at least, don't fret, try some of this, and let me know if it worked :)
1. Now is the time to do some camping, and that too right in the comfort of your home. Many kids already have play tents at home, but if you haven't got something like that, even better. Take your favourite bedsheet and pitch a tent right inside your room! Fill it with pillows and mattress and your sleeping tent is ready. Get a food basket ready for your tent experience and get the torch out of the drawer. Switch off all the lights, even better if there is a window in the room. Looking out at the stars in the night lying in the tent will be an experience...And in case the stars are not visible out the window, paste stars and moon on the ceiling and begin your star-gazing.
2. Since it's raining you of course have to make loads and loads of paper boats! Make your boats and have a competition with your friends to see whose boat goes the farthest..
3. And once you are back inside after the boats are gone, start your very own paper-aeroplane competition.
4. Bring out the board games, scrabble, monopoly, life, jigsaw puzzles, those hobby idea and craft things, UNO, pictionary, scotland yard...anything that you have.
5. Monsoons are the best time to have a great cup of hot chocolate with cookies!!! Take your child's help in the kitchen, make them involved in making themselves a delicious mug of warm chocolate milk...if your baby is too young you can take their help by asking them to scoop the chocolate in the cup.
6. Sometimes, catching up on old family albums is more amazing than it sounds.... With everyone indoors, you can bring out those old family albums and point out stories hidden behind each pic...Or you can even bring out baby's album and show them how they looked when they were tiny !!
7. Call in your friends and have a picnic at home.. Get yourself a picnic basket loaded with sandwich, fruits, juice, cookies and other picnic food.. Spread out a mattress or sheet on the floor, and have a picnic.
8. Rain times are good times to have a movie session at home with friends and popcorn. After the movie you can all help mommy to prepare a meal for you and your friends. Ask mommy how you can be of help.
9. Do you remember the last time you wrote a letter to someone? Not on the email, but a hand-written note telling them how much you love them and sharing things about your life. Use this time indoors to write to your loved ones, to grandparents, to aunts and uncles, to cousins and even friends.
10. Rain is beautiful. Capture this beauty in photographs. Take your parents' help with the camera if needed and start clicking away. You can make a rain scrap-book that you can later share at school with teachers and friends.
Rains are one of the best gift of nature. The wild splash of fresh water from the clouds above can feel like magic on your skin and senses, especially after a harsh Indian summer. Enjoy the rains. As much as you need to be careful in this rainy season and avoid getting wet, it is nice to sometimes give discipline and rules a little miss and indulge in some pure fun. Remember what fun it was to dance around in the rains? Let your child experience the joy of getting wet in the rains. Be around to see that they don't get exposed for too long, keep a dry towel and some warm chocolate ready. Better still, join in the fun.......
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
LinkWithin
