Of Course I Get Angry, And Here's How I Fight My Inner Demons

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And so ends the day with my mandatory walk, though today got cut down to 6km instead of 10km as work calls.. and now, its time to get back to some water, not for the challenge, but just for hydration :) #nightwalk #lovewalking #tryingtobefit #me #exercise #refreshed #happy

A post shared by Debolina Raja (@debolinaraja) on Aug 27, 2019 at 9:10am PDT

I'm just another regular human after all, so how can I not get angry? Of course I do, and for those who never realized, I'm one of those extremely short-tempered ones, whose anger can get triggered off by the smallest of things.

There's a reason a lot of people don't know that about me, and that's because I have made a really difficult but big effort to control my temper, and channel it out in a different space.

In the context of this blog, my temper would hit the roof every day, hundreds of times, especially after the second one, as the poor thing was suffering from massive colic pains. And, at the cost of sounding like an insensitive woman, I must admit that I was not at all equipped to handle that. I did have some support at home, but let's just say that things were very difficult, the expectations were too high to be able to match when I too was healing and even as I hated the person I saw in the mirror each day. Too many demons and insecurities were pulling me apart, and it wasn't a time I was proud of.

Then one day, I did something I still haven't forgiven myself for - I let my younger one cry it out, even as I sat and got angry. Ashamed about my behaviour to this day of course.

Till then, I had never really felt the anger in me come out so bad, and in a way that could touch someone who was helpless in the face of it.

I swore to myself that this would be the end of my anger getting the best of me. Of course it isn't magic, I can't stop being angry just like that, but I could definitely manage how it came out and how I reacted.

So what did I do that was so different that helped me then, and helps me even now to better manage my temper and make sure it doesn't affect the girls?

The first step I took was to head out for a walk....
You may call me an escapist, and I guess I am, for I am one of those who just does not like confrontations and will do anything to avoid it all costs. Also, I know that when I am upset or angry, I am at my worst with words, and words pour out that I have no control over. Not the best scenario to defuse the situation then.
So, the next best thing that I could do was to instead head out for a walk.

And maybe, that was what started out my journey towards better health. Each time I would feel that anger coming on, could be due to anyone or any reason, I would try and plug in my playlist and head out for a walk.

There's something just so magical about the free air around me, especially at night, with the moon shining it's silver on me, that makes me feel comforted, loved, understood and embraced. And when you feel all of these, it's a little difficult to stay angry for too long.

In the start, I would spend about 20 to 30 minutes walking, sometimes fast, then slow, then fast again, till I could feel myself getting drained, and the anger draining off with the sweat. By the time I would come back home, the anger would be gone and I would be myself again.

Gradually, this became a habit - not the anger I mean, but the walk! :)

And there I was, someone who couldn't walk even a kilometre without really getting breathless, to walking up to 4 or 5 kilometres with ease.

Today, I walk 10 kms each night, without stopping for a break or water, and usually complete it withing an hour and a half....

The next step - being honest about my feelings
We all think it's easy to fool our little ones, that they won't know, that we are the grown-ups, the smarter ones.
But did you ever give this a thought - what if they always realize what's going on, what we are up to, and just because they don't show it, we end up believing they don't understand anything, and in the process, make a fool of ourselves instead.... ever thought about it?

Our little ones are way smarter than us, and than we were at their age. Sounds like bachpan mein suni hui baat, at least to me it does, but I know it's true in my case. For instance, I still struggle with the many Google documents I have to work on, while the kids find it easy. I am a dumbo at all gadget related things, while for kids, these are toys!!!!

So, one thing I was sure of was that no matter what, if I tell my children to be honest and true to themselves and to others, I too had to be just the same. And that honesty also means being honest about my feelings, about telling them when I am upset or angry and need some space or time to cool off.

And it's fine, trust me. Rather than blasting out at them, directing your anger at someone who does not deserve that treatment, you simply ask for a little time out. If nothing else works, I go inside the bathroom, close the door, and splash my face or head with cool water. Always works for me. And while I'm there, I sometimes also add a dash of lipstick to cheer myself up :) what's the harm ;)

Fighting my inner demons without damaging anyone else is a constant work in progress. I am still at that stage where I have to learn a lot, I have to deal with a lot of issues that haven't been the best, and that I know will keep stressing me out.

But hey, one life, one beautiful lovely life, and definitely not worth it giving it all up to anger. So, while for me, anger is a real and recurring feeling, there's a lot of positive ways to bid adieu to it too......

For all your anger moments, I am already sending out a lot of hugs and positive vibes for whenever you need them.... smile more, love yourself a little more, and tell yourself you are special, coz you are.... and yes, tell it more often to those around you too, who are your world :)

Love....

- Debolina Raja

**********************************************
And like I always believe in and say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ

 Happy Parenting!!!!

- Debolina Raja

Celebrating Christmas: Of Santa and Gifts and Smiles :-)

image source

Christmas is here, that time of the year that is somehow quite magical and sweet, with twinkling bells and hopes of a new beginning with the New Year just round the corner. Christmas has always been special to me. While I was a little kid of the age my daughter is now, I was studying in a Christian school and obviously the celebrations for Christmas were huge. We would be involved in so many activities around the festival that it was one of the most beautiful times in the entire year for us all, and all us kids would wait eagerly for the next Christmas to arrive. 

At home, the celebrations were not that huge. We never had a Christmas tree, but that’s okay, as unlike these days, not most homes had one in those days, especially if they were not Christians. These days, you can see a Christmas tree almost in every home – and it’s a great way of welcoming more celebrations and rituals and festivities in your life. So for our childhood, though we didn’t have the Christmas tree, we did have the special Christmas cakes. While we were kids, my parents had modest means, and finances were always short, through the year, every year. Not that any of it affected me or my brother. Yes, there were various instances, but I feel, as does my brother, that in a way, it’s good we saw less money and less privileges and things as kids, as it has helped us remain grounded and understand and appreciate things much more than many kids those days did.

From Mommy To Daughter, The Legacy Continues: Happy International Women's Day

Before I begin, let me wish all you lovely ladies out there a very happy, special and empowering Women's Day! Of course we can't really be respecting and appreciating our women only one day a year, but it's not everyday that you specifically take out time to wish each other and tell them that yes, they are truly special and deserve all the attention! So yes, once again, a very happy, special and empowering women's day!!!

So who do I dedicate this special day to? Of course, the 2 most special women in my life - my ma and my daughter. When I was a little girl myself, and through my growing up years, I was the perfect example of what a rebel daughter is like and what I definitely wouldn't want mine to become!!! (oh I can't imagine myself going through all that my poor ma did!!) but I'm sure that's exactly what she will go through too, it's a natural phase after all. Anyways, the point is, that I was totally this crazy, nerdy, rebellious, aggressive, stubborn young girl, doing things my way, believing that I had a special halo around my head that allowed me to break all the rules and create my own, and some of the craziest fights I had during my growing-up years were with ma! But then again, I was always super-loving, super-protective and super-possessive about her, and still am!

Day Of Love....Valentine's The Baby Way

 Image courtesy s5.favim.com

While working on something today, I came across this beautiful picture.....a sepia tinted picture of a mother holding her new born in her arms. As the baby sleeps in utter peacefulness in the one place that is the most safe for a baby in the world - its mother's arms, the look on the mother's face, her smile, says it all.....

It's a smile that is full of contentment, completeness, a smile of pure joy and satisfaction, a smile that says yes, this is what I have been waiting for, and finally, I've found all my love and dreams in this little bundle, this little heart of mine that now shall forever remain in my arms, close to my heart....Don't we all, as mothers, feel the same way too?

I do.......

- Debolina Raja Gupta


**********************************************
And like I always believe in and say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ
Happy Parenting!!!!

Be good to your little one, and to the millions of little ones out there who truly need every bit of love and compassion they can get.....Be a grown up...save the little ones.... Debolina Raja Gupta

Proud To Be A MUM

Yes....for all us MUMS out there...we are the best at what we do, so let's be proud of who we are, and for a change, let's give us a pat on the back....and to our darling little ones, thanks for being around, we wouldn't have been the best mums without you!!!

**********************************************
And like I always believe in and say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ
Happy Parenting!!!!
Be good to your little one, and to the millions of little ones out there who truly need every bit of love and compassion they can get.....Be a grown up...save the little ones....

Debolina Raja Gupta

Happy Birthday to Papa from Little One

 

"Mamma Im 4 Years Old, Now I Will Do All Your Work"

About a week ago it was my daughter's birthday and she turned a happy 04 years. Of course I cannot still believe she is all of 04...seems like we just brought her home a few days ago from the hospital. But I'm sure all us parents feel the same.

This time we asked her if she would want to celebrate her birthday with the kids at the nearby orphanage. Now that my little one has started understanding the concept of sharing, and regularly giving food and clothes and toys to street kids and slum children, she readily agreed, even asking us to take milk and other things. We went together to buy return gifts too.

My little one was already aware of the date of her birthday. She would wake up each morning and ask me if it was the 09th of August already....each day I smiled and kissed her and told her she had still a few more days to grow big.

Finally the day came and as I confirmed it was the 09th, she was ecstatic. She jumped off from the bed and signaled me to stop. "Mamma, I am a grown-up now, so I will do all the work, you rest." She went to the kitchen and got me a bottle of water. She helped me with washing the clothes. She helped me keep my plates back in the sink. She helped me with everything. The whole day was spent like this, before she went to school and after she came back. Finally, after a fun birthday party with her friends, she slept a tired and exhausted sleep.

Next day my daughter was back to being my little one again, needing mamma for ALL her things and work :) Was I the happy one !!!!!


**********************************************
And like I always believe in and say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ

Happy Parenting!!!!

Be good to your little one, and to the millions of little ones out there who truly need every bit of love and compassion they can get.....Be a grown up...save the little ones.... Debolina Raja Gupta

A Break From The Usual Hectic Lifestyle

Its been quite a while now that I have been enjoying this lovely experience of being a mommy. Can't say Im not enjoying it to the hilt. Of course there are the good days and the bad ones, the ones where I want to pull out my hair, the ones that feel that life could not have been better. There are days I am all smiles and coochy-coo and baby-talk, there are days when I walk around like a zombie, a constant stream of gibberish stumbling out of my mouth, unable to understand how I landed myself in this position....Well, parenting is a roller-coaster ride they say, and what a ride it is!

Yes, there have been some tough days too, but I am not complaining. I got more love and happiness I could have asked for.

Child Labour and You - The Other 'She'

The carton was bursting and overflowing,
It was the annual sale you see,
With toys and books and clothes and stuff
And everything her eager eyes could see.

I gave her a hug, she gave me a smile,
I knew she was ready to go,
She wanted to be home and open the box
‘Whats in there mamma?’ she wanted to know.

I’d given her the frock the other day,
The one that was in her cupboard for so long,
And also her old favourite toy car
The one that ran fine, nothing was wrong.

We reached, I pressed the calling bell,
She opened the door with a smile,
To let us in and into our room,
That was all shining and bright.

She tugged at my hand as I gave her the bags,
‘Lets go in sweetheart, shall we?’
We went in, the AC chilled us down
Cloth and bottle ready in place, she went back to the TV

Five o’clock its time for her milk
And my garma-garam cup of chai
Sitting by the window, she playing, I reading,
I ask her for a toast with my chai.

Tomorrow she goes to her new class,
Her new bags, books and uniform filling up the bed.
She wipes the floor, brings the sheet and cushion
Clearing up the kitchen for her bed.

My darling daughter, my princess,
“She looks so much like you”, they all said.
What? Who? The other girl? The same age as my daughter?
Oh, she is Laxmi, my eight-year-old maid."

Shocked? Sad? Angry? This is reality you know, the real face of India, the face that always critices and complains, but never really has the courage to actually go out there and bring about a change. We like to say we treat our maid well, that this little girl is lucky to work in my house coz I treat her better than the others and make her do less work...Shame...You could have sent her to a school? You could have called her home to study and then sent her back after giving her a glass of milk, couldnt you? And all those times you saw that little boy or girl working in a shop, or pushing that cart on the road, you could have gotten hold of the adult and given them a lesson, you could have complained about them? How many times have you done that?

WHERE TO COMPLAIN FOR CHILD LABOUR:

1. You can lodge a complaint at your nearest police station.
To get a link to all the police stations across India, you may log in to www.karmayog.org/policedepartments/

2. PRATHAM HELPINE FOR CHILD LABOUR
022-65134884 or EMAIL Kishore Bhamre on kishorbhamre1@rediffmail.com
This number is ONLY FOR MUMBAI AND MAHARASHTRA
Please visit www.pratham.org for more details.

3. HELPLINE TO COMPLAIN FOR CHILD LABOUR
1098 is the number to complain against child labour if you are in any of the following cities:
Agartala, Aurangabad, Chennai, Guwahati, Kanchipuram, Kozhikode, Nadia, Pune, South 24 Paraganas, Varanasi, Shimla, Ahmedabad, Bangalore, Coimbatore, Hyderabad, Kanyakumari, Kutch, Nagapattinam, Puri, Thiruvananthapuram, Vijayawada, Ludhiana, Ahmednagar, Baroda, Cuddalore, Imphal, Karaikal, Lucknow, Nagpur, Rourkela, Thirunelveli, Vishakhapatnam, Akola, Bhopal, Delhi, Indore, Kochi, Mangalore, Nasik, Ranchi, Thrissur, Waynad, Allahabad, Bhubaneshwar, East Midanapore Jammu, Kolkata, Madurai, New Jalpaiguri, Salem, Tiruchirapalli, West Midnapore, Alwar, Chandigarh, Goa, Jaipur, Kollam, Mumbai, Patna, Shillong, Udaipur, Agra, Amarawati, Cuddalore, Gorakhpur, Kalyan, Kota, Murshidabad Port Blair, Sholapur, Ujjain and Gurgaon.

We all like to say that Child Labour is a crime and should not be allowed. So stop complaining now and ACT.

********************************************************************************
And like I always believe in and say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ

Happy Parenting!!!!

- Debolina Raja Gupta

This Post has been Published as a part of

My Little One, My Rainbow

My daughter saw a rainbow today..on TV...its quite a feat to see a 'real' rainbow in these times of smog and pollution and skyscrapers. She loved the colours and asked me why and how there were so many colours in a rainbow.

My doll: "So many colours mamma? In one rainbow?"
Me: "Why not? You can have many colours together."
My doll: "Like my skirt?" (pointing to the skirt she was wearing at that time)
Me: (smiling) "Yes, like your skirt, and also like mamma."
My doll: "Like mamma? Like you?" (wide eyed)
Me: "You know how many colours of the rainbow you gave me? I will tell you."

"Violet when you blessed me and made my life bloom,
Indigo when you tell me 'Mamma I Love You".
Blue as your hugs come and caress me through,
Green as you make my life so full.

Yellow as I hold you to my heart each day,
Orange as I walk you home.
Red as the love in my heart as I call your name,
So many colours to fill my life.... and i wish the same and more for you."

She loved the use of colours....but of course, even before she left the room, she had already forgotten all of what I had said, and was busy in a new game :)

********************************************************************************

And like I always believe in and say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ

Happy Parenting!!!!

- Debolina Raja Gupta

This Post has been Published as a part of

All Of Me That Is She.....

So now that I have a little daughter I am really beginning to understand what my parents used to mean when I would question them on something and they would say - ‘you will understand when you are a parent yourself’, or when they would go through the family albums checking old pictures of me and my brother or talk endlessly about my antics as a child and I would ask them to stop, they would get back with - ‘you remind us so much of our own selves its amazing’. I did not really understand any of it then, sounded more of just the ‘parent-talk’ that children get all the time. But now that I am a parent myself, things seem to have come back full circle.

It is amazing how a little new life can be so much like you. When you have not taught her your own characteristics, your own likes and dislikes, and yet she knows all of it, even the most eccentric ones, down to the last detail.

I see so much of me in her all the time…..especially now that she is in the wonder-stage of being a toddler, it is amazing how she already knows all the details of my likes and dislikes and has started emulating much of me…most of my habits now a part of her daily routine too.

Like books. The reason I mention books first of all, is, well, because for all these years, all my friends and those who know me, always seem to associate me with books. Ask them about me and I am always the ‘girl with books.’ So it was with great pleasure that I noticed her first inclination towards this magical world of books, and now she is one of the biggest inhabitants of the book-world. Not only that, as a child, and I must admit, even now, I had this peculiar habit of keeping my current book that I was reading under my pillow while sleeping, it was as if unless the book is under the pillow, it will vanish when I wake up. And I realised one day with amazement that my daughter too keeps her book under the pillow before she dozes off. Not only books, I used to keep all my girlie little treasures under the pillow and she does the same, some days it’s a favourite hair clip, some days a torn old pic of a cartoon character she loves.

Of course I don’t have to go over my emotions once again as she shows an inclination towards the cuisine from the part of India where I originally am from. I know I am being biased here, but who can not help but smile when she goes out for a lovely family dinner and all she wants is fish…cant keep the ‘bong’ness away for long.

My parents say I used to hate those days when I was home from school, that I always talked about school and was eager to go to class. My daughter is on a two-week break due to school holidays, and even though she is only three, she is hating each and every moment of it. Not only does she cry each day to take her to school, she tells me before sleeping each night what to prepare for tiffin the next day at school, asks me to keep her uniform ready as she will go to school in the morning, and when she sees that both mamma and papa are not sending her to school, starts calling friends and family and asks them to take her to school. She even has dreams about school.

I have always had an immense love for music, I love to sing and hum and listen to different kinds of music. And one of my sure-shot ways to uplift my mood is to sing along loud to my favourite music…..my daughter LOVES music of all kinds…and all languages…she loves to sing along…even before she was two, she knew the lyrics to many songs and could identify a song the moment she heard the first note.

I am a crazy lover of dance and my daughter can dance the whole night non-stop..she can carry on dancing as long as we choose to have the party.

Play acting….I could spend the whole day making up stories and playing different characters all on my own….my daughter weaves her own stories now and play acts all the time at home…..

I had a fondness for raw lemon, that harsh taste of extremely pungent and sour lemon drops on your tongue….my friends used to gawk at the way I would savour the taste…my daughter does just the same. Take her to any restaurant and the moment she sees a slice of lime, she will pick it up and savour the juice.

I loved playing teacher teacher…it is one of the most favourite games of my daughter’s.

I love bags….have to admit she loves too….already!!!

I sleep on my right…she does too.

I loved to draw as a child……she loves too.

I always used to recite poems on the swing….she does too.

I was always fascinated with planes flying up in the sky and the dot disappearing in the night sky….she loves watching planes

Durga Pujo was and still is my most favourite festivals…..she has started loving it too

People say I have expressive eyes. I make a lot of signs and expressions with my eyes….so does she..

I don’t like spicy food…same for her. I don’t like chilled water….same for her.

I don’t like colas….same for her.

I was always an inquisitive child, always asking millions of questions for each sentence my parents uttered…so does she

As a child, if my parents happened to be talking amongst themselves, I would get between them and turn their face to me…………my daughter does the exact same thing now.

I always used to fight with my mum as a child, even now do, but I loved and love her with all and more than just my heart……my daughter too has all her fights and tantrums and sadness pangs with me, but she wants my hug and my assurance and even for a single moment, she does not like it if I am not there….she loves me like no one can ever love me.

So much of me in her already.......and I know each new day will bring in some more discoveries soon……


Like I believe in and always say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ

Happy Parenting!!!!

I Wish.....

As the days go by and as you run about, busy in your world, busy in your work, you know your little one is right there in front of your eyes, your little angel, still the baby that you love to cuddle so much, still a daddy's girl or mamma's darling.

But then, one day you decide to take it a little slow, sit down for a breath and reach out to your little girl. And then suddenly, you realise, the little girl you have been planning all along to spend some time with is little no longer. With a sudden wave of realisation that hits you, you realise that your little girl is now an independent little being, maybe not so big in age but still, big enough in her ways to ask her own space, to ask for things to be done her own way.

Then you realise that all those busy days when you told yourself your baby would be waiting right there for you should have been played out another way. You suddenly wish you could get those days back, so that you could spend them with your little sweetheart and see her grow up into this independent little girl right before your eyes.

My cuddly bear is my pig-tailed little sweetheart. But though she has barely turned three last month, she already thinks of herself as a grown up. Why, only yesterday, she took her toy phone and spent the whole afternoon speaking to someone, of course she did not reveal to me who she was speaking to, and when I told her it was bedtime and that the phone needed to be kept down, she looked at me once and gave me that smile, and simply turned on her side and began talking again. She thought mamma wouldn't realise what she is doing - you have to give her that, she is only three, so really she thought that I was not aware of what she was doing and that she had succeeded in getting her way. I was amused, thinking in my mind that this kind of a scene would indeed be played out sometime in the near future soon, that a time would come when the toy phone would turn real, when the imaginary voice on the other end would take the voice of a real friend.

Its amazing how fast our kids grow up. My parents used to say this all the time - 'It seems like you were born yesterday, how fast you have grown up.' And I would never understand what they were feeling, rather, I would wonder, get annoyed even, at what this was supposed to mean. Now that I am a mother myself, I know exactly word-to-word what they meant.

I close my eyes and I see the doctor in green scrubs holding a tiny creature, with just the pink nose showing and a twinkling eye turning this way and that - my daughter had one eye open when she was born. I open my eyes and I see this little girl, so sure of herself and what she wants, confident that she can take care of herself and her mamma and papa, sure that everything she does to fool us and have her way is actually fooling us.

I am in love with her, this little universe of mine, and I know that soon things will change, her world will, or rather already has, begun to expand its horizons, and the most I can do is let out a long sigh, and wish I could somehow make the clock go slow, that somehow I could hold her in that baby stage for some more longer.

Let's Help Them....You Know You Can

Remember the last time you went past that red signal on the intersection? The little boy peering in the window, trying to convince you to hand him some coins so he could have some food, so he could give some to his little sister who was standing with him, holding on to the thin hand with little thin fingers. Remember that look?

Remember that young woman, poor and helpless, standing at a side of the road, waiting for the light to turn red so she could walk up to the many tinted windows and ask the people sitting inside in the cool air to give her something, some loose change, some money, so that she could buy some milk for the little infant who was hanging from her saree end, tied up in an old rag around her reed-thin body, the little head dangling dangerously from side-to-side. Remember the way she was wringing out water from her wet saree, the cloth that had got soaked wet in the rain, the same cloth that she was using and would use through the day to tie her little infant in? The wet cloth that the infant would be strapped in the whole day?

Maybe you remember,
Maybe you don't
Maybe you'll help them,
Maybe you won't.
Maybe you will look around for those coins after all
And hand it out without a second look,
Maybe you will shrug and call it all a fraud
"They don't need any money, they are all just crooks.".......
Maybe they really don't need any money
Just a little smile and a little help still could do,
Why not a pack of biscuits,
Or some fresh food or fruits,
Why not a bottle of milk
Or the old clothes you know will never again be worn on you.......

We all say these children begging on the roads, these women with the infants strapped to them and even the old people who look so helpless, are all just a part of a criminal activity going on, that this is all a sham, that none of this is real, that they are all just acting.....

And of course I do not advocate handing them any money...coz who knows where the money will go, and more often than not, they will only be passing on the money to the many 'dons' and beggar-lords who run the show...so no help for the real ones in need....

So why not help them a little tiny bit by giving them something that will really help? A little tiny gesture from our side that would mean so much more to them. Next time when you head out in your car, why not make it a practice to keep a few packets of biscuits in the glove compartment, so that when the little one comes up to beg and ask for money for food, you can hand him the packet, some real food.....Believe me, they really need it....So many times I have handed out packets of biscuits to these little unfortunate ones, and they have grabbed it with a big smile, tearing it open and finishing off the contents, showing it off to their friends who then have been directed to me, and I have handed them out more packs, so they all could eat.....I cant tell you how it felt to see those smiles for some time. Who knows, maybe it was the only decent food they will have in the whole day, at least they had something then...And maybe someone else will think likewise in the evening and give them another packet in the evening....

Your closet desperately needs some cleaning and the old clothes are spilling out, with you constantly in a fight with your cupboard and its contents, trying to keep them under control while they threaten to revolt....why not take them out and sort them out as per age and wearability? Why not make piles of clothes that are sorted out based on who can use them, like infants, kids, women, men. Then you can easily take the bundles and hand them to the local beggar kids and women, even the old people who sit begging on the streets. Don't tell me "I wont do it coz they will only go and sell it off..." You know its an excuse, it sounds unreal and unconvincing even to yourself. And even if they do sell it off, what would you have done with those clothes in the first place? Never worn them again, keep pushing them at the back of your cupboard, and then maybe sell it off to a guy who buys old papers and stuff? Wouldn't you be selling it off too? Come on, you dont need those any more, so why not give it to someone who will definitely use it some way or the other? Old shoes and sandals (but please, only the ones that are wearable...not ones that are beyond repair!!) old sweaters, caps, mufflers, socks, handkerchiefs, napkins, towels...basically anything that you will not use....why not share it with them?

On birthdays, anniversaries, special occasions, we all go out and celebrate, throwing lavish parties and spending big moolah..... great.... but why not add a little bit more joy to all these good times by sharing that happiness with some of our less fortunate friends? Birthday...why not go to the nearest orphanage and give them a birthday treat...a birthday cake and some chips and food maybe. Or why not share some food with the beggar kids near your place? Why wait for occasions? If you can, why not make some extra food once a week, or once in a while, a proper meal, even something as simple as noodles if a meal is too much...and why not head out and just hand it out to them? I have handed out full meals to these kids....and mind you, not to the adults who roam around, but only the kids, and I have waited to see that its only the kids who sit and eat the food, and have left after they have had their fill..This way, atleast you can make sure that what you are giving to the kids is not being taken away by the adults who are always nearby. Some days I have given them noodles and they were so happy, some days I gave idli-dosa and that too is a different food item than what they usually get. Even sandwich...they love that...

But almost always, we have started keeping packs of biscuits and cornflakes in the car, so that whenever that knock comes on the window, we are ready to give back something to that endearing smile that hardly has any reason to smile.....

You can do that too....so why not start today and feel the happiness within? Thanks a million if you decided to do so too........And if you still will not do that little bit, well what can I say.....

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And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Happy Parenting !!!

- Debolina Raja Gupta



I care for the countless little ones out there....Do you?

am too busy to care, but want to do something. Jaago Re and BlogAdda.com are helping me do my bit for the society.

Slipping Through My Fingers........

Have you seen the movie Mamma Mia with Meryl Streep and Mel Gibson? Do you remember the song ‘slipping through my fingers’? If you have heard the song and if you are a mother, I can bet anything that you did cry at least once listening to the lyrics. I remember how I cried as I watched Meryl Streep sing out loud the exact emotions of every mother as she realizes suddenly that the little girl who had arrived in her arms just yesterday is now all grown up, about to get married and begin her own life, a life away from her mother.

I had to share these lyrics……..the song every mother of a daughter would identify with….

School bag in hand she leaves home in the early morning
Waving good-bye with an absent-minded smile
I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while.

The feeling that I’m losing her forever
And without really entering her world
I’m glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl…..

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute….the feeling in it
Do I really see what’s in her mind?
Each time I think I’m close to knowing, she keeps on growing…
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake, I let precious time go by
Then when she’s gone there’s that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I can’t deny
What happened to those wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
Well, some of that we did
But most we didn’t
And why, I just don’t know

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time
Slipping through my fingers……

My Vow To You My Little One......

I vow my darling little one,

To always remember to keep your interests before mine,
To tell you everyday how much I love you and what you mean to me,
To always hold those memories in my heart which make me smile with love, and make me cry in joy,
To snuggle up to you each day and tell you that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me
To remember how my life has changed since you arrived and what a blessing I have in you
To always keep that amazing baby smell with me, the one that lives in your neck,
And also that milky smell that I love to fill my senses with,
I promise to always listen to each and every word you say,
And to understand all those words that you might not always speak out loud,
To see every expression that crosses your face,
To cherish and help you realize all those dreams that live in your eyes,
I promise to hold your hand always, through thick or thin, through rain or shine,
To support and encourage you in your ambitions,
To give you the wings to fly high and reach the sky
I promise I will always be your friend, and always also your mamma first before I am me,
That my daughter will always be my truest friend and confidante
I promise I will never shout at you when I am low, I will never bring out my anger on you.
That I will love you and protect you with more than my heart and soul,
Soothing all your fears and erasing all your worries.
Always cherish each moment we have together and wish you the best for all those moments when you are away from me,
I promise to care for you with all that I have,
To always provide the best that I can,
To guide you towards the journey called life,
To let you know what is right and wrong and to let you choose for yourself,
To never hold a grudge against you no matter what you say
To always be around whenever you need me
To help you heal a broken heart, to help you see there is always something better after the tears are dry,
I promise I will always keep you safe, that I will always give the most importance to you my darling,
And I promise today, that whenever and wherever it is that you need me, I will always be there for you.

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And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

- Debolina Raja Gupta

This Post has been Published as a part of

Happy Birthday Navya

Growing Up......

Looking through the old box
I came upon a bib,
A few old frocks
And the dismantled parts of a baby crib.
I found a little rattle
And a teether she used to chew,
A pair of little red mittens
That still looked so brand new.
A little piece of paper
On which were a few tiny lines,
A crayon that she had held once
And tried to nibble at the sides.
I found a baby animal
That had once been a favourite toy,
It lay now among the old things
Along with a toy girl and a toy boy.
I found a tiny pillow
That she slept on when she was born,
And a little baby’s sleeping cloth
That every night she lay on.
Tiny socks and those first shoes
That I had seen in a window at the shop,
And a pair of rubber toys
Which every time I gave her, her tiny hands would drop.
Little baby comb and tiny baby sheets
And I found her first toothbrush too,
Along with them pair of tiny fairy socks
And a tiara she wore last year when she turned two.
All this and many more memories
Stacked away for all days to come,
As she keeps growing each day
There will still always be some.
Now the bib is gone and the frocks are bigger
The bed too is a new one,
The brush is big, the socks and shoes too
And instead of lying now, she just always runs.
The toys have changed and the sheets have too
The pillows and things all new,
I look at them and I think in my heart
‘Are they old already? But they still look brand-new.’
Just that day we had thought of what we would need
As a little one was about to arrive,
Hardly a couple of years and she is grown up already!
And I hate to admit it - it doesn’t at all feel right
I need more time to see her each day
To savour each moment as she is still small,
Coz this is my world and this is my all
She is all that is me, she is my little doll………

**********************************************************************

And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Happy Parenting!!!

- Debolina Raja Gupta

This Post has been Published as a part of

Same Expression Over The Years Each Time She Sees Something New...

The Then And Now

I never thought a day would come
When I would admit they were so right,
When all that happened so long back
Would start over in a new day in a new time.

The way he held my hand in his
Her eyes never leaving sight,
I knew they were always somewhere around
I just had to turn back to their smile.

I was small she was my world
And his only world too was me,
They were then my bestest friend
And I knew it was the only way it could be.

Stepping out from the school bus
I would jump right into her arms,
Life was a child, all fairy tales and songs
They were my shield to every and all harms.

Poems turned to songs and words
Then to alphabets and numbers and plays,
New sights new sounds new friends new life
New things every single day.

As the dolls traded places with nail paint n stuff
As the girl grew up one day,
The bestest friends turned to best friends
And slowly from that to ‘Ma, baba, please stay away!’

I thought she wasn’t looking
When on the phone I would spend the night,
I would think he knew nothing about me
But somehow, he was always by my side.

Then one day that girl grew yet again
And a mother she happened to be,
A daughter was born and the cycle began
First it was theirs, now my turn to be.

All those things that my parents did then
That I hardly appreciated, hardly gave a thought,
I know now whatever I do or say
As good a parent like them I am still not.

They were right when they told me then
‘Grow up dear daughter then you will see,
You can tell us now to stay out of your life
But in our heart, forever you will be.’

The picture is same the characters same
Only the faces are what have changed,
For eternity now it’s true what is said
And the greatest blessing, a parent, has been named.

Today when I walk my daughter that way
Holding my little darling in my arms,
I know no matter how grown up she is
I will still shield her from all hurts and harms.

I laughed when you said I would always be a child
That for you a baby I would always remain,
Today I know what you meant then, baba, ma.....
For forever to me a child she too will remain.......

And like I always say and believe in:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children...' - MJ

Happy Parenting !!!!!

- Debolina Raja Gupta

This Post has been Published as a part of

To You My Parents

This is the picture of the two people I respect the most in this world. Earlier I would have added the word 'love' too, but now there is a very tiny but very very strong candidate who has successfully captured that position forever - my own daughter.

These two people in the photograph are the ones who brought me into this world. They are my parents, the two people who know me probably much better than I know myself.

From the time I first opened my eyes to when I first tried to utter a word, when I sat up on my own or turned on my stomach, that first step I took and the first time I ate on my own - they are the two people who have seen and cherished it all. They are the ones who held my finger and taught me to walk, and later helped me hold a pencil in my hand and learn the first script. The ones who introduced me to the enchanting world of books, taught me how to express myself through words, told me that always coming first in life was not important, what was important was to give everything your best shot and to know that you did your best while at the same time being fair.

They are the ones who have always loved me unconditionally, even when I threw tantrums or was unreasonable and stubborn, their love and faith in me never wavered. When I was upset or angry they were always there to calm me, when I needed my space they always made sure I had my privacy while knowing they were just an arm's distance away.

They have always known me better than me, these two people, my parents.

When I was young I always told them not to worry about me, or, after I grew up, when they would talk about me - what I did when I was small and all those things of the past - I would tell them not to dwell on old things, I told them to stop thinking only about me and to do more about their own life. But I never realised that one day, I too would become just like them, that I too would be a parent. And that the only world I would know then would be the world around my child.

I understand their concerns now as I feel the same towards my daughter. I can share their excitement or their love in the way they talk about me when I was a little baby. I can recall each and every moment of my daughter's life myself and only I know how much joy it brings me to sometimes just sit back and reminisce. I can understand now why they worried so much all the time, I am no different a parent, I can now feel their anxieties and fears too.

What I am feeling only now is what they have felt for these last so many years.

These two precious people in my life, who never complained at any of my faults or idiosyncracies, who loved and believed in me despite all my greys and negatives, who were and still are the best parents ever, much more than I can ever imagine to be.

For everything good and important and helpful that I have, and will ever do as a parent, everything I have learned from you two.