Monday, August 2, 2010

Handling Her Mood Swings

Most of the mums I spoke to about what was the one thing that really irked their husbands when they were pregnant gave me almost a unanimous answer – that the worst thing their husbands had to endure during those nine months was their mood swings.

And that is the exact same thing the men said.

If it was not difficult for you men already to begin preparing yourself for the new phase about to begin, you also have the huge task of listening to your girl all the time while she nags and tells you how horrible and useless you are while she is handling all the pregnancy problems.

We cannot take sides here. Of course the woman is definitely going through a lot of hormone changes at this point and she herself is really confused, trying to understand what is going on and how she can get back to her previous self, trying to prepare herself for what is to come, all the while trying to figure out how she will suddenly turn from being a couple to a parent.

It is a trying time for the man. Suddenly the hot and sexy woman he so loved to come home to, who would reward him with a smile and more at the end of the day has turned into a woman he hardly knows anymore. One moment she is happy and chattering, next moment she is depressed, bursting into tears, accusing you of things you don’t realize you did, sulking, refusing to talk, becoming a different person altogether. And of course you don’t know what is going on with your life anymore.

The best for you to handle these moments of irritability and mood swings is to avoid a confrontation. Don’t argue too much with her, instead, wait for a later period when she is calm and in a position to understand you better, and then tell her what you are feeling. Tell her you understand she is going through a lot and you appreciate her for all the pain and discomfort she is handling.

If she is nagging you for something, try and see what it is that you are doing that is ticking her off. If making a few small changes in your lifestyle and habits can make her calm and happier, try and do so. Ask her if there is something that is bothering her. Sometimes, the fear of what lies ahead and the insecurity can make her act irritable and angry. Try and soothe her fears. Tell her you will always be there with her to support her, tell her you both will have the best time of your life now that a little one is about to arrive. Tell her all good things about having a baby and try to encourage her to see parenthood as being positive and fun. Give her a break. Let her have some fun time to herself. Encourage her to meet friends who may be pregnant and to share their experiences. Take her out. Spend some quality time with her. Excuse her for the smaller mistakes she may make. Excuse the pending work. Look at the nicer things, rather than reminding her of what she is doing wrong. Compliment her on her looks, even though you may not like the bumpy look and she may always look like a tired hag instead of the looker she earlier was. Let her know you love her the way she is, and that you love her even more now that she is doing so much for the baby.

Some women may have mood swings for the entire nine months. Some may not have any at all. Some may even continue to have the mood swings even after the baby has arrived.

You will know the best way to handle your partner. But whatever you do or say, just make sure that you remind her constantly of the love you feel for her and yes, also keep complimenting her on how she looks.

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