Divya Deswal is a Doula - a birth assistant, someone who provides guidance and assistance to a couple who are about to have a baby and assists and helps them to have a smooth delivery. Divya is also a childbirth expert with P&P. Here, she shares one of her birthing experiences.
'Saloni and Vasant were in my childbirth class. As we went through our 4 days together I felt that these were THE people to benefit from hypnobirthing (Hypnobirthing is essentially a method that teaches the parent that in the absence of fear and tension, pain does not necessarily have to be an accompaniment of labour).
To begin with, they believed that birth was natural.
We began in earnest.
Vasant was very involved. At one point when we discussed listing of fears, he said "my biggest fear is that, what will I do when she is in pain?".
The expected date of delivery was sometime around end Oct, we decided not to go by dates. Also they had decided not to have many ultra sounds. They were also keen to use water for labour and we were set to give birth. Lots of practise, and there never seemed any sense of panic or urgency. The doctor was on board with this as well.
Saloni went for a routine check on the 3rd morning. By noon she was having mild surges, and was at a friend's place near the hospital but decided to go back home and wait and watch. I met them at home at about 3 pm that afternoon. She had eaten sandwiches and was relaxing. As I sat with her the surges seemed to get closer so we decided to go to the hospital.
En route things slowed down again. Upon reaching the hospital she was checked. Vasant was taking video clips and at some point Saloni said.. "I am confused if this is IT." With all the experience of start and stop she was joking about not being responsible if it stopped again. The doctor said she was definitely in labour.
Around 7 in the evening we decided to get out of the hospital for a bit. So we went out for dinner to a nearby G K I market restaurant. She wanted to eat her favourite sandwich at Cafe Turtle, just like they did after the Saturday class each week. There was a lot of joking and fun about this. Of course she could tell the surges... she did feel something. It was amazing to be laughing and sharing this special time. Vasant recorded every detail of the food and other things... memories from the day of the birth.
I had a feeling things would get more intense after the food and the moon. At 10pm I could feel labour getting stronger. The staff at the hospital felt it was too early and very slow but somehow I felt things were moving fine. She started to talk of warm bath or shower. So first she took a shower and said that the surges felt different in the warm water. I knew she was ready to move to the warm tub. The doctor left the decision entirely up to us. However, some of the staff felt it may be too early. As soon as she went into the water, she visibly dropped down and the very next surge was longer and stronger, and she slipped into a trance there after. We had dimmed the lights and some soothing music was in the back ground, Vasant was whispering the hypno prompts to her and at one point it seemed that I was intruding on a really intimate moment. The gentleness of it all was overwhelming.
The baby emerged slowly supported by her doctor's hands and as she held her baby the father cut the cord. Later when the baby was weighed .. they did it four times. No one could believe he was a 3.95 kg baby, the mom had a superficial tear.
Doc and I shared a cup of celebration tea and acknowledged...had there been an ultrasound...we would have an idea of the weight of the baby...considering it was biggish...maybe we wouldn't have waited, definitely not used water, and definitely had an episiotomy (surgical incision to facilitate delivery during childbirth) bigger and deeper than the tear, and this would be the best case scenario.
Here I was - a doula (an experienced person who provides support for a woman in labor by encouraging her to use techniques learned in childbirth-preparation classes), the childbirth educator, the hypnobirthing practitioner, friend, stand-in sister, everything, nothing. I felt deeply connected to her as if i was in labour too and at some point I made some suggestions which were only in the realm of the above coincidences, and I didn't make them thinking, I felt the need to make them.
As we were sharing the birth together both the parents felt that it couldn't have been more perfect. To answer my question if this is what they had thought it would be like... they said this is what they hoped it would be.
I hope this is really a positive inspiration for all."
*For more information on hypno-birthing techniques and to get in touch with Divya Deswal, please visit www.birthbonds.com
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And like I always believe in and say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ
Happy Parenting!!!!
Debolina Raja Gupta
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