You Are An Unfair Mamma! - Balancing The Love Meter

 

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Yes, so this is one aspect of motherhood I was always worried about - how would I love my second baby as much as I love my first born?

Sounds bad? Or unfair?

If you are a second time mommy, I'm guessing you've already been down this road. If you are mommy to a single child, you probably are wondering what's the big deal...unless you plan to have a second one (or get to know that it's on the cards, by accident!) ;)

One of the biggest reasons why I wasn't ready for a second baby was precisely this...I was never sure how I would be able to love another baby as much as I love my first born. My life was absolutely fun and perfect, and being a mother was actually a lot of fun, not something I dreaded or that made me alter my life. In fact, I had started enjoying so much with my daughter, who is more of a friend now than just a daughter, that I was worried the baby would come between us and take up my time.

PDA And Kids: How Much Is Too Much, Or Too Less, Rather!

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When it comes to PDA, there are already various censors going around that do not encourage the same. If you have kid(s) at home, then one of the strongest censor is probably sitting right next to you, right now!

PDA, or the lack of it, is a conversation that hubby and I engage in almost ever so often. It is something that we both are aware of, and no matter how much we tried to include bits of it in our everyday life (or some point in life after having kids!), it just doesn't seem to work out.

Our older daughter is soon going to be 7, but let her see mommy and daddy hold hands and that big drop of tear will trickle down almost instantly, though she will try to hide it and go and be sad in her room. It doesn't help that I know everything she does and every mood she goes through...

So, if my holding hands with hubby makes her sad, it can't immediately make me feel happy, right?

And it's been a constant struggle since we can remember.

I guess in some ways it is to the fact that I was always overly involved with my daughter ever since she was born. But that is what you generally do with a baby, right? I couldn't spend a moment without her being in it, and that remains true, even to this day.

Are We Together Only Because Of The Kids?

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No, I am not thinking of leaving, and neither is my hubby.

I was reading a lovely post today on an American site about how the writer was listening to a divorce account of a man who was about 70, and the reason he gave for the divorce is that now that the kids are grown, the couple have nothing in common.

The author wondered about this and related it to his own marriage (he has 2 kids and 1 is on the way), and of course I could not help myself think of it either.

It is true that in every couple's life, children bring a change that you can never have imagined. And this change is both good, and bad. That's the truth, and there's no sugar coating it.

My hubby and I have known each other for a decade, and have been married for 8 of those years. The first 2 years of knowing each other before we got married was just about us. And we were sure it would always remain like that.

Till we had kids.

Weaning My Little One: Diary of A New Mum

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When I had my first born, weaning was something we had a really really hard time with. Maybe it was because we were first time parents, and there was so much information and advice coming in from so many places that we got confused.

I exclusively fed my baby for the first six months, we no formula or anything. Once she was 6 months, we started giving her solids little by little. I was feeding her till she was 2 years, but then had to suddenly stop as I developed some infection.

That was one really bad time, not so much for me, as for my baby. She was 2 years old, and she needed me a lot for her feeds then, and somehow, she was not able to adjust to the fact that I stopped feeding her. It was a really tough time, with her refusing to take any bottle at all, and only begging for a feed. We had a really difficult time getting her back on track.

So, when I had my second baby, I was pretty sure that I would wean her off earlier, and in a way that would be smooth for her.

10 Ways Of How We Are Active Hands-On Parents To Our 6-Year Old

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As parents, both me and my hubby were very sure from the very beginning that we wanted to be hands-on parents.

While work and other commitments do end up taking a toll on us, especially after the arrival of the new baby, we have made it a point to ensure that though it may not be as much as it was earlier, we still give enough time to our first born, and are there with her for most of her interests and activities.

Things of course change when there is a new baby in the house. The demands and need are different, and your temper and crankiness level, not to mention the tiredness and stress levels, shoot up the roof. But that is really no reason to ignore your elder child, or make them feel as if now they are no longer the special ones, as a baby has arrived.

In fact, just the opposite.

While initial few months were difficult for me to constantly be with my elder daughter, now that the younger one is 10 months old, things are great! In fact, I spend a lot of one on one time with her, and also together with the younger one.

There is so much we do together, or if the baby wants to stay home and not participate, one of us is always with the older one.