Thursday, May 30, 2013

Lines On Being A Mommy From The Book 'Daniel Isn't Talking' by Marti Leimbach

Am currently reading this touching book called 'Daniel Isn't Talking' by Marti Leimbach. As the name may be suggestive to many, the book is about a little boy who is autistic and how his mother, even while she doesn't really want to say it loud to herself in the beginning for fear of making it real, does begin reading the signs. 

I'm not going to make this a book review, for that, you can head over to my book blog The Book Worm and keep an eye for the review of this one.

As I was reading, I came across a few lines that I felt many mothers will familiarise with. I personally have a sleeping disorder, I can't sleep even though I have tried every single thing and remedy that's out there. But yes, one thing that's been a constant ever since I had my daughter is that I need to have her by my side - only then can I sleep comfortably for the bits and pieces that I sleep.

So yes, here are a few lines that I really thought touched a chord.

If Stephen is away - on business, for example - I sleep with Emily on one side of me and Daniel on the other. Like this I can attend to the movements of either of them, can feel the heat of their skin, the stirrings of their dreams. It is the only time I can really sleep, huddled between them, kicked by them, occasionally woken by Daniel who cannot sleep through the night yet. I never complain about the broken night's sleep. When I wake for those few minutes, the darkness seems a comfort. I feel my heart is a timepiece set in motion by my children's breathing, and that the bed is our refuge, a place where nobody can touch us. As long as we stay here together, warm beneath the duvet, the darkness is velvet. Thomas the Tank Engine can stay clutched in Daniel's hand. Dumbo's family, in their gaudy circus blankets, can watch us from the nightstand.

 Because I have been particularly high-strung of late - what Stephen calls unstable and, if I am honest with myself, what I also would call unstable - I slept last night with the children like so, one to my left and one to my right. It's the only way I could recover after Daniel's tantrum. I needed him close to me - quiet, peaceful, loving. I needed to feel connected to him. I don't think Stephen understands this - I don't think ANYONE understands - and so I've woken this morning feeling slightly ashamed of myself, as though my behaviour makes me feel feeble and pathetic. 

Wow! I can't even imagine what parents must go through, trying to do what they can best, but feeling it may still not be good enough. And not to mention that people are often easily judgemental, categorising parents as good or bad. I do recommend this book if you are a parent, or would like to understand about this issue better.

- Debolina Raja Gupta

And like I always believe in and say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ

Happy Parenting!!!!

Be good to your little one, and to the millions of little ones out there who truly need every bit of love and compassion they can get.....Be a grown the little ones.... Debolina Raja Gupta

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