As a mum, there have been many occasions when we wished daddies would know what we were going through, and maybe be able to do what we had to do. Come on, you’ve even told your partner many times ‘if only you could do this….’ haven’t you?
We chatted up with a few mums, and here’s what came as the top 20 things mums wished dads could do. Read up and tell us what you wish your hubby could do instead. And daddies, hear up!
1. Our No. 1 spot goes to the most heard comment – “I wish he could take care of the baby while I get some ‘me’ time.” With mums having to do so much at the same time, there’s hardly any time left that you can devote solely to yourself. So yes, it would be great if dads could take up some of the time with babies, and let mum relax.
1. Getting pregnant – Of course, why not? No, don’t get us wrong. It’s just that becoming pregnant and experiencing your little one growing inside you is such a wonderful feeling, you do wish that as a father, your hubby would get to experience the same too.
1. Waiting for the kids at activity classes – Yes, you thought all mums enjoy standing outside the gates and waiting while kids practise inside? Not necessarily. Standing, waiting, rain, heat, strangers coming up and chatting, getting bored…the list is endless…we don’t always like this, and wish dads could take up the time-table sometimes.
1. Helping with mid-week school activities – Yes dads, believe it or not, mums end up spending too much time worrying about how to arrange things for the projects, as well as how to create everything! Mums really wish daddies would help in school activities.
1. Being present in all PTMs (Parent Teacher Meetings) – Going to your child’s school, bracing yourself to hear to what the teacher has to say. And be smart enough to tell the teacher your thoughts, without offending.
1. Cleaning up baby’s nursery 20 times a day – Yes, that’s the minimum number of times a mum ends up cleaning her baby’s room, or for that matter, the entire house! Daddies, are you listening?
1. Answering all of baby’s questions the whole day – Why do I have to drink milk? Why can’t I watch more TV? Why can I not get another new toy? Why can’t I have another new Barbie? Why do you scold me? How did you get me? Why is there a baby in your tummy? Why do you also love papa? Can I have a pet? Why can I not have a pet? Why can I not have more ice-cream? Yes…daddies, please get your answers ready.
1. Creating new recipes each day to make baby eat – We dread the coming-home-from-school time, not because of other obvious reasons, but because what we will find in the tiffin box! It’s an everyday challenge, making tiffin delicious yet nutritious enough for your baby to want to eat it. Or for that matter, making sure that your child does finish tiffin each day, whether they like it or not!
1. Being strict, yet loving, at all times – Come on, can you manage that papas? Every day for at least the next few years? Being strict, being firm, yet letting your child know that you love them the best, no matter what.
1. Concentrating on work and baby, equally (if mum is working from home) – You may think a work-from-home mum has it easy, but think again. What if you were told to work on an important presentation, while having to cook a full and healthy meal for your child, making sure the clothes are washed and ironed, giving baby a bath, making sure your child eats what you cooked, making sure your child drinks the glass of milk, making sure your child is doing homework, making sure you teach your child that poem for school, making sure you help your child complete the school assignment on time, making sure your child gets to go the park on time and play, making sure you’ve given all required medicines to your child on time, making sure you kiss them hug them talk to them smile at them to make them feel loved, not insecure…and this is just a few of the things you need to do while making that presentation or talking to an important client on the phone!
1. Making sure your child is always ready for school on time – Waking them up, forcing them to wake up, running to make a healthy breakfast, making sure you can finally get your child to eat it, packing the school lunch, making sure the pencils are sharpened, the eraser, sharpener, ruler and any other required thing is there in the pencil-box, making sure that the school diary and notebooks and books are all there. Shoes are polished. Handkerchief and I-card in place. That the child does not miss the bus. And if there’s any project to be submitted, that it reaches school intact! Just a few everyday morning things…
1. Making sure all home-work is completed on time – This is a tough one, as more often than not, mums literally have to run after kids to make them sit and finish the work.
1. Preparing child for exams and assignments – Another tough one…..
1. Managing child groups on play-dates – You thought managing one kid was tough? Think 6-7 (or more) young children in your house, running, jumping, touching things, opening drawers, taking out toys, playing, shouting, singing, dancing, fighting, playing, kicking, playing, hitting, crying, complaining…..and you kind of know what we go through.
1. Keeping that smile on – Not in the best of moods, yet can’t show those tears to your child, can we? Yes, as a mum, being constantly around your child, it’s not easy, or even possible, to give vent to your feelings. So we do have to learn to hide our emotions most of the time.
1. Matching baby’s clothes and accessories – Dads, this is a BIG complaint! As in, every time we ask you to dress up the baby, why do you have to always get a mismatched set of clothes, complete with totally mismatched shoes, socks and (in case of girls) accessories?
1. Tidying up the cupboard – YOUR cupboard dad! As it is, we have enough tidying up to do. Would be nice if you could tidy up your own cupboard for once.
1. Keeping the towel in its place – Ok, we get it, we know you’re always in a rush, and when you’re not in a rush, you’re relaxed (translate to lazy), and keeping that wet towel in its place is not really a priority for you. But still, could you please keep it where it belongs, on a clothes line or dryer maybe?
1. Being a super-human inside the mall – Tried going to the mall with your kid, without the wife around? Try. Checking the shopping list. Holding baby’s hand. If baby is in stroller/pram, then managing that as well as the shopping cart. If baby is in the shopping cart, then keeping baby interested enough to not want to come out of it. Making rounds of aisles safely without baby trying to pull out everything from the shelves. Saying a firm NO to demands like chocolate, icecream, toys, clothes…….list is endless.
1. Appreciate more, grumble less – Dads, we love you, yes we do. But trust us, there are really times when we feel there is so much you could do too, that we do on a daily basis. We appreciate all the hard work you do. We understand you have your own set of worries too. But at the end of the day, what we do is important as well, whether we are homemakers or working mums, so it would be great if you could see and appreciate our hard work a bit more, and complain a little less.
And like I always believe in and say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ
Be good to your little one, and to the millions of little ones out there who truly need every bit of love and compassion they can get.....Be a grown up...save the little ones....
Debolina Raja Gupta