Tuesday, July 22, 2014

You Are An Unfair Mamma! - Balancing The Love Meter

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Yes, so this is one aspect of motherhood I was always worried about - how would I love my second baby as much as I love my first born?

Sounds bad? Or unfair?

If you are a second time mommy, I'm guessing you've already been down this road. If you are mommy to a single child, you probably are wondering what's the big deal...unless you plan to have a second one (or get to know that it's on the cards, by accident!) ;)

One of the biggest reasons why I wasn't ready for a second baby was precisely this...I was never sure how I would be able to love another baby as much as I love my first born. My life was absolutely fun and perfect, and being a mother was actually a lot of fun, not something I dreaded or that made me alter my life. In fact, I had started enjoying so much with my daughter, who is more of a friend now than just a daughter, that I was worried the baby would come between us and take up my time.

At that point, I couldn't imagine anyone else other than my first born, and I really, REALLY, didn't want another baby.


Well, we finally gave in to our daughter's demands of a sibling, and here I have a second princess, who is just getting ready to turn 1 !!!!

It's been an absolutely crazy first year though..and much easier than I believed, in terms of bringing her up. In terms of time management and love management, it has been way more difficult than the first time. But that's another story for another time.

How do I ration out my love? Who do I spend more time with? If I am heading out for a mall date with my elder one, should I feel bad that I am leaving the younger one home and feel guilty about it, or just enjoy with my elder one? Who do I hug harder? Who do I give the more number of kisses? Do I count my number of kisses?

Gosh...these are just some of the questions that were in my mind throughout my pregnancy, and it was a hard and dark time..those questions are still there on and off....but right now, it seems they are merging in somewhere..

It's a constant balancing act I believe, but the magical part is, that as much as you feel you cannot love anymore, your babies have that trick of pulling it out of you in an unending stream....

Ever felt that? :)

- Debolina Raja Gupta

And like I always believe in and say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ

Happy Parenting!!!! Be good to your little one, and to the millions of little ones out there who truly need every bit of love and compassion they can get.....Be a grown the little ones.... Debolina Raja Gupta
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