Thursday, July 10, 2014

Are We Together Only Because Of The Kids?

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No, I am not thinking of leaving, and neither is my hubby.

I was reading a lovely post today on an American site about how the writer was listening to a divorce account of a man who was about 70, and the reason he gave for the divorce is that now that the kids are grown, the couple have nothing in common.

The author wondered about this and related it to his own marriage (he has 2 kids and 1 is on the way), and of course I could not help myself think of it either.

It is true that in every couple's life, children bring a change that you can never have imagined. And this change is both good, and bad. That's the truth, and there's no sugar coating it.

My hubby and I have known each other for a decade, and have been married for 8 of those years. The first 2 years of knowing each other before we got married was just about us. And we were sure it would always remain like that.

Till we had kids.

The change was a shock, it was huge and forceful. So much so, that, the first year after the baby saw us having some of the biggest differences of our lives ever. We had our share of arguments and differences and as happens many times, we started drifting to a life of our own, in separate directions.

No one had told us really what happens once you have children, and how your life and your entire being changes, much too your relationship with your partner.

It was hard to come back from there to a middle path after that, and there was a lot of effort involved. As our baby began to grow from a toddler to a child, there were time when we were very happy, but it soon started getting rough.

It seemed like we were together only for her. And that was a fact.

Our days and nights were consumed by our daughter, and there was actually nothing else we connected on, not that there was any time either.

But this is no way to live together, and surely not the reason you should. And even though you may feel that living together for the sake of your child is a good idea, it isn't, as children are exceptionally receptive and will soon see through your actions. 

I can say we understood that - thankfully....

Today, with two lovely daughters and a home filled with laughter and giggles and pinks and frills and all things cute and cuddly and sweet, it's hard to imagine what could have happened had we not found any connect, except for the kids we have.

It's true that at least 80% of our conversation revolves around them, but we are trying to live up that 20% too.

- Debolina Raja Gupta


And like I always believe in and say: 
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ

Happy Parenting!!!! Be good to your little one, and to the millions of little ones out there who truly need every bit of love and compassion they can get.....Be a grown the little ones.... Debolina Raja Gupta
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