Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Good Touch Bad Touch: Explaining The Rules To My 05-Year Old

With the growing amounts of incidents being reported in the media today about child victimisation and the many monstrous horrors that are babies are being inflicted to, it's crazy how our little ones are growing up amongst a jungle of monsters!

While the entire blogging community of parents is up in arms about this crazy mental sickness that's out there to devour our kids (and even while I write this, the papers today reported how a 13-year-old was abducted by his own cousin and killed, in an attempt to get ransom for a debt the kidnapper incurred due to cricket betting!) it's difficult to understand exactly what we're supposed to be doing as parents.

While it's not physically or logically possible to be with your kids on a 24X7 basis, there's a lot we can do to ingrain these 'safe' practices as part of their everyday routine.

I must admit I'm a very paranoid and protective mother to my 5-year-old princess, oh yes, Im one lion momma when it comes to my little one! There have also been instances when the 'cool' me has immediately flared up and got up with a full intention of breaking someone's nose...and let me tell you I'm perfectly capable of that where my kiddo is concerned. Okay, so before I digress, here are a few points that I have made sure are part of my daughter's daily life, and in those rare cases that I may forget, she is the one to point it out immediately and ensure all works as 'per the plan.'

Of course I'm no know-all, so I would love to hear your tips mention them in the comment box below, after all, parents can never share enough notes on parenting, right? :-)

  • Never talk to strangers: This is something that she now understands fully, and unless I tell her that okay, it's fine to talk to this person, she will not
  • Stay away from: With so many 'familiar' faces around, it's difficult to make your child understand the concept of strangers. So it is that my daughter does not talk to helpers and attendants who she may see on an otherwise regular basis, these more or less include - building watchman, car cleaner, carpenter, plumber, electrician and others
  • Maid Time: I don't send my daughter anywhere with the maid, unless absolutely unavoidable. It's only been done about 2-3 times in the past 5 years, and I intend to cut down on that completely, even though the lady has been working for us for 5 years now and is almost a part of the family. Still! So in case she takes my daughter down to the compound to play in the evening in the rare event that I can't accompany her, I make sure to tell the watchman and the maid that under no circumstances are they to go out of the compound. Of course my daughter knows that too and will not go. 
  • Not alone in the lift: My daughter isn't allowed to get in the lift on her own yet. Though all of her friends regularly take the lift on their own and go here and there, I do not allow it. There is no telling who might get in the lift from another floor while she is in it. And there's no way I'm allowing her to be stuck in there alone with a stranger, or even someone from the building, without me or hubby being present. Sorry, that's not happening.
  • Bus Drop Offs: Me or hubby make sure to put her in the bus in the morning and to help her get down in the evening. Though there's a conductor to help the kids with this, I don't let them touch my daughter (the recent case of the school-bus conductor who kidnapped 3 girls in the US and kept them as sex-slaves in his home in their very own neighbourhood is something I wasn't really surprised to hear now, sadly)
  • Active momma: For all her activity classes, I make sure I'm sitting right outside the classroom. And while her swimming classes are on, I sit by the pool.
  • Good Touch Bad Touch: I have explained the basics of good touch bad touch to her as much as can be explained to a 5-year-old. Only papa or mamma are allowed to give her a bath, to help her change, and to touch her in ways she understands are intimate. And if someone touches her in a way she isn't comfortable, which thankfully she isn't, she will immediately shout out and move away. 
Many parents may think that I'm too paranoid or that I'm too over-bearing, but trust me, when it comes to my child, I would rather be over-cautious than sorry.

(*image is for representation purpose only - source

- Debolina Raja Gupta

And like I always believe in and say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ

Happy Parenting!!!!

Be good to your little one, and to the millions of little ones out there who truly need every bit of love and compassion they can get.....Be a grown the little ones.... Debolina Raja Gupta
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