My little one is a lady of four now. And its been quite some time when she started asking about 'how' mamma papa got her. Of course this had to happen. Some kids ask about it later, some ask earlier. My baby started asking me about the same when she was about three-n-half.
Earlier, Indian parents were more secretive about most topics that skirted around issues of a physical and sexual nature. Such talks were almost a taboo, not almost, I think I can say to a certain extent, they WERE taboo. In fact, most Indian households still are not comfortable talking to their children about issues that involve anything to do with sex or the human body.
I was very clear about one thing though. Whenever my daughter began getting curious about things around her, I would not tell her the standard 'You will understand when you get older'. Rather, I would explain things to her at the same time that she asked me something, of course keeping in mind her age and what would make sense to her in her own language. So, if today I have to teach her about the concept of 'touch' and 'body', I do that in a way that is comprehensible to a four-year-old.
The most natural question that she asked me was how we got her. It was one I had expected and knew what to tell her. So I told her that how once upon a time mamma and papa were sitting together and were a little sad as they didn't have a little angel to play and cuddle with. Now, my husband and I have never hesitated to hold hands or show some signs of a mutual affection in front of our daughter. I am not talking here about intimacy that is unhealthy for a child to witness. I am simply talking about things like holding hands, sitting together, giving a peck on the cheek, things like that which make a child secure to a certain extent and make them comfortable with their own ways of showing affection.
I did explain to my daughter the tiny details about how she came in our lives, putting in a few touches about the doctors and hospital and stuff. Not too many details though, but certainly the ones that I know she will understand. It still is one of her most favourite stories and she loves to cuddle up and listen to it over and over again.
"Mamma, tell me how you and papa got me?" she will lie down in my arms and ask.
Nothing can feel as comforting to a mother as snuggling up to her child and telling her how much she means, and what joy she brings. I am no exception. I am treasuring each and every moment that I get to spend with her. I know time is flying fast, and soon she will be ready to be on her own, asking me to leave her and wanting to be with her friends. I know that is bound to happen sooner than later and I am ready for that. But as of now, let me tell her once again how mamma papa got her and how thankful they are that she chose to be with us !!!!
And like I always believe in and say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ
Be good to your little one, and to the millions of little ones out there who truly need every bit of love and compassion they can get.....Be a grown up...save the little ones....
- Debolina Raja Gupta