I remember the first time that I heard about mental health was long long after I was a grown woman. I knew there was something called depression, but to me, it meant someone who was sad, or always just felt sad, no matter the situation or surroundings.
Also, to my very limited knowledge at the time, depression meant that the person was a give-up kind of soul, who only saw the negative in life and chose to stay sad.
How naive and how wrong I was!
But let me also point out that I was not the only one.
Being an 80s kid, I never really heard anything about mental health, anxiety, depression or stress being mentioned in the house. Let me say it out loud - I know my ma has suffered years of mental health issues, especially PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) after she lost her first-born, and also battled lifelong stress and other issues such as depression and anxiety (thanks to many things she had to face from our relatives from my father's side).
We never spoke about it. I was not aware or equipped enough to spot the signs or understand, my parents didn't know how to say it out loud or what to do about it. In fact, growing up as an 80s kid, I know that it was something to be ashamed of.
If you have any form of mental health needs or issues, be quiet, shush, make sure no one else finds out, deal with it, don't be a loser.
Remember?
Focus on today.
This is the year 2021, and as I am writing this, my daughters are now 13 (grade 9) and 7 (grade 3), and let me just proudly say, they are both, yes I mean both, aware of mental health issues, needs and what to do about it.
So it was quite a huge surprise, a good one actually, when I heard one of my younger one's teacher (during online school session) talk about mental health. She was discussing issues such as stress and anxiety, as well as depression, and also talking to them about how to spot the signs, what physical effects it can have on the body, what we can do to improve our mental health, how we can spot it in others, how we can help ourselves and others about it and so on.
I was quite happy.
I have already been talking to my daughters about mental health for quite some time now. My older one knows about it and understands ever since she was about 7 or 8 herself. The younger one knows from ever since she too is about 6 or 7. So you see, the conversation at home has always been very open and embracing.
We have spoken and discussed about mental health, and issues such as depression, anxiety and stress in the same way as we have spoken and discussed about physical health issues such as fever, headache, loosies, cold and cough and so on.
What did it do for my girls? It made the conversation normal and something very easy to talk about.
So today, if they spot someone who is really low, or someone who is showing signs of anxiety or stress, they, especially the elder one, are able to spot it. Even the younger one understands things about depression and talks about how the person can spend some time in fresh air or close to nature, or do something that will distract them. Of course they both have their own ways of looking at ways that people can cope with mental health issues, and I am glad they are so open about it.
They know this is nothing to be ashamed of. That this is as normal as having a fever, and needs as much care and attention as any health issue would.
As a parent, I feel that to get your kids ready for the world and to equip them to take the best care of their overall health, including mental, emotional and physical health, talking about the importance of mental health is crucial.
You don't need to keep on and on about it, but just make it part of normal conversation, as normal as talking of fever, sardi zuqaam (cold and cough) and so on. So that, if ever they feel the need to look for help, or are feeling low and not able to still express it in words, they will see that you understand, and look for ways to cope and get better, on their own, and with your love and understanding.
Especially now, it is important to focus on our mental health.
I am glad my girls are so open about it. Even if they don't always say it out loud, especially the teenager as she wants to behave like a 'teen' (!!), she knows that ma always knows and understands. We are a team, and we are in this together.
- Debolina Raja
And like I always believe in and say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ
Happy Parenting!!!!
Debolina Raja
