Thursday, October 28, 2010
Your Little One - Bully Or The Victim ?
This is one of the most frequent questions parents find asking themselves once their little ones step out of the safe nest and go out into the world. With babies leaving home and entering playgroups as early as one-year, it is a common concern parents share. Some places begin proper schooling at three, some even a little earlier, and in none of these age-groups are the little ones grown up enough to share their fears and thoughts at a level that can be deciphered easily.
As parents, it is always our job to understand those unsaid words of our little ones. This age, when they are just beginning school, and the environment, of a new phase in life, new people and place, can be too confusing and overwhelming for them. Many parents would agree that kids this age are still not able to differentiate between truth and the imagined world, they frequently lose track of what they were doing or saying the moment there is another new distraction. So it is really not their fault when they start saying something and it eventually turns out to be a completely made-up accusation....
Dont scold or tell them to stop talking like this. It will only make them begin to keep things to themselves, things that are best shared with an understanding and caring parent.
My daughter is three and she always comes home with a scratch or a small wound. Though I am still tempted everyday to pick up the phone and blast everyone at the school, I have learned to understand that sometimes it is best to let kids handle certain 'problems'. Many times my daughter has come back home with tales of how she has been hit by her classmate. And in reality when I checked the mark, it turned out to be a simple insect bite. I dont deny sometimes she is actually hit by her friends, which kid hasn't ever been? And sometimes she herself has hit back...
The point here is, while dealing with toddlers or very young kids, we, as parents, must be fair and practical. Not every scratch can be fought back by calling the school. And it is not fair to ignore the marks either. Observe your child properly, you are the best judge of your little one's moods and behaviour. If there is a sudden change in behaviour, loss of appetite, lack of sleep or too much of it, if your child is not talking to you as much as he/she used to, if there is a sudden dislike for school or going out to meet friends, get in touch with your child's teacher. Have a word, visit the class and find out what has been going on. Tell your little one you love them and that you are always there with them, for them. Build the trust and confidence so that your baby can come to mommy or papa anytime with anything to discuss, let them know you are always interested in their life and that you are always their best friend. And the most important thing, let them know that your love for them comes with no conditions....that you will always love them...no matter what....
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ