Losing My Sanity But Keeping It Together

image source

Come on, all of us are losing it in some way or the other, isn't it?

Of course most of us are really priviledged, I know I am, especially because we have our bellies full, have a cosy and comfortable home, have our loved ones safe, are able to connect with those we need to in some way....so many reasons to feel blessed and thank the universe for keeping us safe and together.

But with all this good going on, I am still losing my sanity massively.

Of course I don't show it all the time, I pretend to be all okay and positive for the girls and try and be with them as much as I can, after endless hours of house chores (no help for at least the next 2 3 months as of now), and try and cheer them up as much as I can.

I know kids are going through their own anxieties too, in these tough times, whether or not they can really put it out in words.

But once evening starts to hit, I can feel the changes in me.

I lose interest in everything.

I want to be left alone.

I don't want to speak a word.

I feel a heaviness in the limbs.

I feel my mind going numb.

I want to disappear.

I want to go away.

I want to sleep and not get up.

I want to curl and lie down.

I don't feel like responding to the girls.

I don't feel like entertaining them in any way.

I just want to be left alone, alone alone, alone. 

I want to disappear.

And I feel guilty later.

But no matter what I feel, it is impossible to completely remove myself from the girls. I don't really want to either.

A lot of this is also because I am not able to go for my daily 10km walks that used to be my release, my peacemaker, my calm, my soothing me time. 

When nothing helps, when I am in a corner, I end up standing at the window in the middle of the night and looking out at the moon, or the clouds and just keep taking in deep breaths.

This helps me to some extent. 

I do feel guilty.

I do tell myself that I am being a failure, a negative influence, and just not being good.

But I know this is normal.

I am human after all, I have ups and downs, I have emotions, I have a beating heart.

So for now, I will stop punishing myself and I will make sure I learn to vent out my emotions instead of bottling it all in as I always am used to.

And yes, it is absolutely normal to feel this way, so what I also make sure that I do is to tell the girls a zillion times each day how much I love them, how special they are and that there is no one I love more than them.

If you feel this way, I send out a tight hug.

Don't beat up yourself, this is absolutely normal. We are all dealing with a lot and it is fine. 

And if you can, please let me know how you deal with this so that I can try it out too. Will help me a lot! 

Take lots of care of yourself and smile, the hug is coming your way!

- Debolina Raja 

********************************************** 

And like I always believe in and say: 

'Heal the world we live in 

Save it for our children' - MJ 

 Happy Parenting!!!! 

 Debolina Raja

So This is what the kids are doing in lockdown, at home!

image source

Now that you are here, I would just say that I hope and wish you are doing fine, your loved ones are safe and healthy, and that you are able to manage your mental, physical and emotional health the best you can.

Things have changed of course, and I am no different.

As someone who is now working from home, managing the work from and at home, and also fully involved with two kids, it's all about a new kind of lifestyle.

If you have followed any of my posts or other blogs, you may have realized that I travel a lot, and by lot, I mean at least a big road trip every two months, if not more frequently. From that to being in the house, within the apartment since the 10th of March 2020 (today as I write this is this it's the 27th of May 2020) and I've already told the kids that once the lockdown is officially over, we still won't really go out for at least a month or maybe more.

So there.......

A lot of parents are using this time to get the kids involved in a host of activities, including different types of online classes, courses and whatnot. Which is great.

And what are we doing? Well, nothing really.... Yes, nothing :) Or rather, the kids are doing and learning a lot by doing nothing :D

Going against the tide, I realized that while most other parents I know are engaging kids in tons of activities, what with so much time on hand, I actually chose to do just the opposite for them. Give them nothing structured.

And before you take offence, let me just be clear that all of this is my way of doing it, my way of letting my girls connect and refresh and learn. Since they are mine, I do get to say what to teach them, and I respect how other parents are using this time for their kids. Just wanted to clear that out first.

So what are we really doing?

Well, here's what...

A lot of reading, a lot lot lot

No kidding, but my home is about 75 percent books, and books are stacked everywhere, from bookshelves till the ceiling to bookshelves in every room to here and there and everywhere, there is never a space in the house where the kids don't have immediate access to books.

And in our case, it helps, what with me and both my girls being such avid readers, that not finding at least 2 books at a time makes us anxious! Not sure if that is really a good thing or not, but that's how it is.

And with so much reading, there's a lot of learning that automatically follows. So, the younger one at 6 has her own blog that she started, where she has already started reviewing books she loved. She also has very easily transitioned to reading very big words and understanding the meanings of her own, or finding them out on her own by referring to a dictionary. Not bad, and makes things much simpler, and interesting!

A lot of communication

With me, and with each other. This is one of those times when the girls are really talking to each other a lot, understanding about things from different perspectives, just thinking their thoughts out loud, sharing information, the older one who is about to turn a teen teaching so much to the younger one just through their regular 'sister chit-chat' as they call it.

And of course they do it all the time with me too. Lucky me!

Learning to read and write a new language

This time, I have taken it upon myself to teach them how to read and write Bangla. I do speak, read and write bengali, even though the way I speak it is not really always correct, and reading bangla for me takes up a lottt of time, but yes, I am glad my ma took the effort to teach me the language and thanks to that, I have been able to read some really amazing literature in its original language (the translations are simply pathetic I realized long back!!!). So, even though it takes me a hundred years to read bangla, I do.

And now I have started teaching the girls the same and it's going at a snail pace yes, but it's happening. I will share about this in a different post some day. The biggest reason why I want them to try and learn to read and write bangla is of course to be able to read the books, what else ;)

Becoming independent

With so much to handle, of course the girls are trying to help out in their own small bit and see what all they can do without assistance. From cooking to cleaning up to arranging their own clothes and books and cupboards to making their own beds, watering the plants, giving water to plants and all, they are doing it pretty well.

How this will help? It will eventually help them be independent, where they won't really need to rely on anyone else to help out, which is the best way to be, isn't it?

Understanding the concept of earning and saving

Not all chores are done by choice, and sometimes, bribing comes in handy, albeit in different ways ;) So I have set up a system where at the end of the day, I take a look at what all they have done through the day, and depending on the chores, the final result, the willingness and so on, they are given a small amount of money.

This will eventually go in their savings pool for now, which they are free to use up or continue saving. Already they are learning how to calculate how much to earn for a particular something and how much to save up to achieve a target. Not bad either.

Sleeping relaxing resting

It's okay to sleep and relax and be lazy, and sometimes wake up late, or sleep late than the usual bedtime and wake up time that they have been following till now. My younger one has always slept off by 7pm to wake up at 6:30 for school, while the older one has always slept by 9 to wake up by 5:30 for school.

But that's not really needed now, right?

So instead, they do wake up late, they spend more time playing, doing arts and crafts, reading, relaxing, talking and whatever takes up their interest, and then sleep late. And then wake up late. And continue the cycle. And why not? It is important to be rested and relaxed, especially now. Along with other things, mental health is one aspect that everyone needs to be careful about, including for kids. So as long as they are happy, healthy, active and relaxed, I am happy and fine with some lack of routine related to the bedtime.

Lots of art and craft

The girls have always loved arts and crafts very naturally, and it's been a great boon especially now. From canvas painting to creating small art pieces using whatever leftover art supplies they have at home, to making their entire Monopoly Indian edition board game using the cardboard from a washing powder box and re-using paper for making cards to using pista shells as pawns, they did it all on their own.

And I am proud, for I could never have done that. Will share that pic soon one day.

So you see, the not doing anything bit has really been working great for us till now, and the girls are happy. As am I.

Of course there are days when things are tough and there are fights, sulking, tears, but that is natural and how it should be with kids, and with us too, isn't it?

There's always time for routine and discipline and deadlines and more studies and all that chaos we end up filling our lives with, but for now, it's important to let them just breathe. And that's what I am doing with my girls.

Letting them breathe, spread their wings and fly the way they want, even if we are all locked in.

That's the beauty of the imaginary mind after all :)

Take care, stay safe and make sure you take time out to relax too.

Cheers
Debolina Raja

Of Course I Get Angry, And Here's How I Fight My Inner Demons

View this post on Instagram

And so ends the day with my mandatory walk, though today got cut down to 6km instead of 10km as work calls.. and now, its time to get back to some water, not for the challenge, but just for hydration :) #nightwalk #lovewalking #tryingtobefit #me #exercise #refreshed #happy

A post shared by Debolina Raja (@debolinaraja) on Aug 27, 2019 at 9:10am PDT

I'm just another regular human after all, so how can I not get angry? Of course I do, and for those who never realized, I'm one of those extremely short-tempered ones, whose anger can get triggered off by the smallest of things.

There's a reason a lot of people don't know that about me, and that's because I have made a really difficult but big effort to control my temper, and channel it out in a different space.

In the context of this blog, my temper would hit the roof every day, hundreds of times, especially after the second one, as the poor thing was suffering from massive colic pains. And, at the cost of sounding like an insensitive woman, I must admit that I was not at all equipped to handle that. I did have some support at home, but let's just say that things were very difficult, the expectations were too high to be able to match when I too was healing and even as I hated the person I saw in the mirror each day. Too many demons and insecurities were pulling me apart, and it wasn't a time I was proud of.

Then one day, I did something I still haven't forgiven myself for - I let my younger one cry it out, even as I sat and got angry. Ashamed about my behaviour to this day of course.

Till then, I had never really felt the anger in me come out so bad, and in a way that could touch someone who was helpless in the face of it.

I swore to myself that this would be the end of my anger getting the best of me. Of course it isn't magic, I can't stop being angry just like that, but I could definitely manage how it came out and how I reacted.

So what did I do that was so different that helped me then, and helps me even now to better manage my temper and make sure it doesn't affect the girls?

The first step I took was to head out for a walk....
You may call me an escapist, and I guess I am, for I am one of those who just does not like confrontations and will do anything to avoid it all costs. Also, I know that when I am upset or angry, I am at my worst with words, and words pour out that I have no control over. Not the best scenario to defuse the situation then.
So, the next best thing that I could do was to instead head out for a walk.

And maybe, that was what started out my journey towards better health. Each time I would feel that anger coming on, could be due to anyone or any reason, I would try and plug in my playlist and head out for a walk.

There's something just so magical about the free air around me, especially at night, with the moon shining it's silver on me, that makes me feel comforted, loved, understood and embraced. And when you feel all of these, it's a little difficult to stay angry for too long.

In the start, I would spend about 20 to 30 minutes walking, sometimes fast, then slow, then fast again, till I could feel myself getting drained, and the anger draining off with the sweat. By the time I would come back home, the anger would be gone and I would be myself again.

Gradually, this became a habit - not the anger I mean, but the walk! :)

And there I was, someone who couldn't walk even a kilometre without really getting breathless, to walking up to 4 or 5 kilometres with ease.

Today, I walk 10 kms each night, without stopping for a break or water, and usually complete it withing an hour and a half....

The next step - being honest about my feelings
We all think it's easy to fool our little ones, that they won't know, that we are the grown-ups, the smarter ones.
But did you ever give this a thought - what if they always realize what's going on, what we are up to, and just because they don't show it, we end up believing they don't understand anything, and in the process, make a fool of ourselves instead.... ever thought about it?

Our little ones are way smarter than us, and than we were at their age. Sounds like bachpan mein suni hui baat, at least to me it does, but I know it's true in my case. For instance, I still struggle with the many Google documents I have to work on, while the kids find it easy. I am a dumbo at all gadget related things, while for kids, these are toys!!!!

So, one thing I was sure of was that no matter what, if I tell my children to be honest and true to themselves and to others, I too had to be just the same. And that honesty also means being honest about my feelings, about telling them when I am upset or angry and need some space or time to cool off.

And it's fine, trust me. Rather than blasting out at them, directing your anger at someone who does not deserve that treatment, you simply ask for a little time out. If nothing else works, I go inside the bathroom, close the door, and splash my face or head with cool water. Always works for me. And while I'm there, I sometimes also add a dash of lipstick to cheer myself up :) what's the harm ;)

Fighting my inner demons without damaging anyone else is a constant work in progress. I am still at that stage where I have to learn a lot, I have to deal with a lot of issues that haven't been the best, and that I know will keep stressing me out.

But hey, one life, one beautiful lovely life, and definitely not worth it giving it all up to anger. So, while for me, anger is a real and recurring feeling, there's a lot of positive ways to bid adieu to it too......

For all your anger moments, I am already sending out a lot of hugs and positive vibes for whenever you need them.... smile more, love yourself a little more, and tell yourself you are special, coz you are.... and yes, tell it more often to those around you too, who are your world :)

Love....

- Debolina Raja

**********************************************
And like I always believe in and say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ

 Happy Parenting!!!!

- Debolina Raja

How This Inclusion Band is Bringing More Positive Changes

View this post on Instagram

This has been a constant on my wrist for some time now... and honestly this is all I wish for ... the understanding to be more inclusive and welcoming... ............... it's tough to get out of the many boxes we create for ourselves and others - gender, religion, race, caste, money power and what not... But its time, it really is, at least for me... one life after all..let's fill it with love and positive vibes (and some laziness too) ;) ......................... I got my Inclusion band from this wonderful trust called Jai Vakeel, from a funkily named website called Salt Scout.... #jaivakeelfoundation @saltscout #saltscout #inclusionband #inclusion #onelife #live #letlive #happiness #positivevibes

A post shared by Debolina Raja (@debolinaraja) on Jan 2, 2020 at 12:36am PST

If you live in India, or if you follow what's going on in India, you may have heard about this very important issue that has divided and brought out the country on the streets like this in a long time.

I am not going to get into any debate or agenda here, but yes, I do want to talk about one thing that has turned out to be a positive from all this that's going on.

The awareness that it is giving our kids, whether the younger ones or the young adults, and, whatever their point of view, the courage and the self-confidence to assert it to themselves, and to others.

Of course I have my own views that I go by, and yes, they are really quite simple. For me, it's just about being human and embracing others the same way, without caging in anyone in any form of pigeon hole, whether it's a captivity box of gender, race, religion, money power, caste or any other limitation for that matter.

I do not follow any religion, and I am happy to see that this attitude is being passed on in a very normal and healthy way. This also means that I respect others' choices and wishes, but then again, I am clear about not letting anyone else cloud my choices. No doubt then that my band has already got some tiny followers, who very well understand the concept and want to wear it proudly too :)  Could I be happier??!!!  :D

Recently, I got myself an Inclusion band...

If you haven't heard about it, it's a band that talks about the basic concept of being open and welcoming and including everyone in your heart the same way, without being biased. It's a simple way of showing myself that yes, I have this one beautiful life, and I want to live it with as much positivity and happiness as I can, and on the way, I want to spread love, warmth and care to others too, irrespective of any social colour or bias.

The beauty of these bands is that they are upcycled, which means that they are all made out of discarded items and are re-used to make something that is better in quality. And I can bet about the quality for sure, as I have been wearing mine for quite some time, and am already on the way to get myself a few more. Also, I have shared this with a few friends who, too, have got themselves their bands.

These inclusion bands are available on a very quirky-named site called Salt Scout and you can check them out here.

The proceeds from these are used to support those with intellectual disabilities. I think it's a really beautiful way of wearing something pretty, while you also help someone else in some manner, no matter how small.

By wearing this band, you essentially represent the idea that you have space in your heart for everyone, irrespective of any bias. For these particular Inclusion Bands, the Jai Vakeel Foundation (India's oldest and largest Not For Profit that works for intellectual disability) has partnered with The Chanakya School of Craft to create these beautiful bands. And yes, these are handmade by women, giving them a source of respectable income - by wearing these bands, you automatically show off your preferences in style, while also helping someone become independent, and in some way help another someone who needs some assistance in the intellectual space.

If you would like to see how you can make a difference, see this video of the kids you can help :)

If you have reached till here, let me just say this is not a sponsored video, and all that I have shared here is what I felt and what I believe is a beautiful way to spread more love and positive vibes in this world..

In case you feel the same, head over to the website and check it out for yourself.

Till then, take very good care of yourself, and those who are yours or around :)

- Debolina Raja



#values and #education #nobias #onelife #inclusion #inclusionbands #love #respect #humanity


********************************************** And like I always believe in and say: 'Heal the world we live in Save it for our children' - MJ Happy Parenting!!!! Debolina Raja

5 Spices To Help Your Little One's Overall Health

image source

There's just something about this image up here that makes my mouth kind of water. Well, if you can't guess it already, I am a sucker for spices, and by spices I do not mean chillies. What I love about cooking (I surely do not really enjoy cooking but love the process of mixing and matching spices) is how I get to play around with different types of spices.

For the past few months or so, almost a year or more now actually, I have started preparing most of my spices (masalas) at home. So whether it is coriander powder (dhaniya), turmeric powder, garam masala, sabzi masala, cinnamon powder (dalcheeni), cardamom powder (elaichi), cumin powder (jeera) or any other mixed spice, I try to make it as much at home as possible. And yes, of course I have noticed the huge difference it brings in the aroma and taste.

With so many health benefits that come attached with these spices, it is no wonder that I have made sure my daughters are also inclined to have them as much as they can. They are 8 and 2 now, and have already developed a strong taste and palate where they can appreciate the different spices I use. So why do I use them so much and so regularly? Of course because they add that much more flavor to the dishes I prepare, and of course also because they are loaded with so many health benefits that most of us are not aware of.

For today, I'll share the top 5 spices I use at home. Top 5 not just from health but more on the frequency that I use them.

5 Spices That Are Great For Kids

Daily Checklist For The Yummy Mummy: The Baby Time, The Family Time And The ‘You’ Time

When it comes to tying up the superhero cape, as mommies we can very easily do it around our strong, beautiful and well-toned (or let’s assume they are on the way to becoming so) shoulders. What a mommy does, no one else can do, and no one can do it the way we do it. From understanding our baby’s unsaid words to knowing just what our partner is thinking or how to plan that deadline even as we prepare our kid for the school play - there is so much we juggle on a daily basis.

But what about that crucial mommy time that is also so important to help us stay rejuvenated? Yes,
we are doing it all so well, but as mommies, it’s time to bring in a bit more planning and make time for ourselves too.

With so many important and daily tasks that we manage, here are some ideas that will help us plan our day better and squeeze in some ‘me’ time too.

The Family Pot



Once baby has graduated to solids and other food, make meal times same for the entire family. Sit down together at the table and let everyone eat the same food – of course it means that you save time on cooking and the entire family eats healthy.

Music Time


Put on some music and dance together with your babies like there is no tomorrow and experience the
positive vibes make you feel happy and energized. Did you know that dancing and spending time at the gym are two powerful ways to get you in shape and make you happy?

Exercise - A Little At Least?



Exercise together as a family to make sure everyone has some much-needed activity time while also
taking care of your very own fitness goals. It’s okay if your stamina levels are at an all-time low, there is always a beginning!

Grab Your Sleep




Grab those winks whenever you can – while your baby is sleeping or is at school, a quick power nap
during office lunch hour or while your partner is playing with the baby. Did you know that sleeping or at least eight hours a night boosts your immunity, improves your mental health, protects you against heart disease and diabetes as well as obesity?

Learn To Say NO




Use ‘no’ the right way. Say ‘no’ to doing everything on your own, say ‘no’ to doing the dishes right
now, say ‘no’ to cleaning up the mess immediately and STOP saying ‘no’ to take time out for yourself. It is okay to not do everything yourself right now.

Dress Up




Dress up for yourself as well as for your partner. Add a dash of lipstick, some perfume and change into clothes that have no signs of spit-up food yet. If you don’t have time to go out and party, just stand at the window with your favorite beverage in hand and enjoy your moment. And once the baby sleeps, snuggle up with your partner.

- Debolina Raja Gupta

**********************************************
And like I always believe in and say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ

Happy Parenting!!!! Be good to your little one, and to the millions of little ones out there who truly need every bit of love and compassion they can get.....Be a grown up...save the little ones....

Debolina Raja Gupta

The Travel Travails Of Being A Mommy With A Toddler And Child On Board!

image source

I have always prided myself on not being a judgmental woman who looks at another mommy with a young baby and sniffs her nose. Ya, well maybe, as a very young woman when I was not yet married, I may have thought that babies on a flight is like disaster you have no way of running away from, unless you choose to don a beautiful parachute and do a quick check out that wonderful door that looks out at some gorgeous view from up above….no, nah, I always knew that babies on a flight were more than just a handful, but even then I was never judging.

I can say I am a pro now when it comes to traveling with my daughters. Well, I was okay when I had just one kid. It was way easier, the luggage was lesser, and I could give her my undivided attention, which also works a lot (sometimes at least, is what I tell myself!).

But add to the picture another baby, double the luggage, crazy crowds at the airport, no one around to help really (unless you want to pay exorbitant prices for some ground handlers as charged specifically by different airlines), this mamma becomes quite a mess.

 

I have never really been scared of traveling alone with my children, but I guess I'm not the one who has to be, as I can almost always see it in the face of the other passengers (please add a devilish grin here from my end...hoohaahaa!)

I just returned last night from an almost 2 month long trip I took with my kids...it's the first ever time I have been out for so long, that too with kids....whoa! And it was an experience, most of the experience happening, yes, as you guessed, at the airports, and in the flight. My daughters are 7 years and 20 months and I literally carried our entire home with me....so you can imagine the kind of luggage I had...I can very proudly say that I beat EVERY single other passenger to being the one who carried the biggest and most amount of luggage......of course not to mention that I was insanelyyyyyy over limit....I am in fact sure now that the baggage allowance regulations have come into practice because of amazing mommies like me...how would airlines have otherwise made this added income if not for us?

When I Lose My Mind Over Everything: Is Having A Perceptive Child An Issue?

image source

If you have been dropping over often here, you would know that I have two darling lovely little daughters, my precious monkeys as I love to call them, and they are truly truly my world and my everything. The older one is 7 and the younger one is 1 and the best part is that they even share their birthday...wow....I couldn't have asked for a better day in the whole year.....

Even though I love them the most and above anything else, there are of course times that I get exasperated. I am a full time mommy, with two full time jobs to manage as well, and I have been lucky enough to get the opportunity to manage my work option - work from home most of the time and head out only if absolutely unavoidable, that too at some very convenient times.

While that is a plus, it also has its negatives. I work mainly from my home, but the fact that I also have to simultaneously care for both my children is something that kills me through the day. It has taken a toll on my health, my happiness, my social skills, my peace of mind and almost everything. It is really difficult, trying to be a single parent to my kids most of the week and managing office and home too. I don't want to do it, but I have to and I know I will.

I know I lose my mind, but yes, I don't share it with anyone. I don't express my concerns and my worries, I don't shout or nag, I just shut down myself and stop interacting - just the bare basics that are required while I go about my everyday work.

Donkey Donkey Donkey: Whoooops !!!!!

image source

So the younger one has been speaking and I mean, really really speaking a lot - quite a sudden leap from how much she was speaking when she was 18 months to how much she is speaking now at 21 months....

She picks up any and every word and language and keeps on saying them on repeat mode.. So it could be a poem, a song, a laugh word, a regular come here kind of thing, objects, people, and even, yes, DONKEY....

No....wasn't me...I didn't use the word. It wasn't me who said it in front of her. Nope.....The 'other' parent used to call her 'donkey' baby just out of fun, and it was mentioned multiple times (by moi) that it would come back one day, from that very same 'donkey' baby.

And it has !!! So now, the younger miss suddenly gets up on her tiny toes, puckers up her mouth, smiles with those twinkly eyes and says - DONKEY DONKEY DONKEY DONKEY DONKEY!!! And yes, it's definitely not restricted to the 'inside' of the home. So you can imagine....

I have started the damage control, but let me tell you, at the present, it is wayyyy beyond control....so let's see how we fare on that....

And till then, well, let me get used to those looks......!!!

- Debolina Raja Gupta

**********************************************
And like I always believe in and say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ

Happy Parenting!!!! Be good to your little one, and to the millions of little ones out there who truly need every bit of love and compassion they can get.....Be a grown up...save the little ones.... Debolina Raja Gupta

Growing Up Advice? How Do I Tell You Ever....

 

And I have two amazing angels!!!!! 

Some days back I got a call from a brand that wanted me to be a part of a new campaign they are coming up with. They wanted me to be part of a video shoot, where I was required to share what I would do as a mother that would empower my children and make them feel stronger.

The catch was that I had only a few seconds to share my ‘advice’ or ‘suggestion.’

I politely refused for certain personal reasons, especially as I am not fond of coming in front of the camera at all, but the other point was – I did not know what to say.

What do I say to my daughter, or my daughters, given that the younger one too will suddenly grow up and understand the world more and more?

I honestly do not know.

How To Potty Train Your Baby: How I Potty Trained My 15 Month Old

image source

The one query I see on most parenting sites and forums is how to train your baby for the potty! Moms are petrified and worried and really really curious to know how to train the baby in basic bathroom routines.

When I had my first baby, I must say I was really clueless. I honestly felt that keeping my baby in the diaper was a good alternative than trying to run with her to the bathroom at odd hours all the time. Of course I wasn't well aware in the tricks and tips then! That said, my first born was potty trained by the time she was going to be 2 years....which is not something I am happy about now, seeing that I could have done better.

With my second born, it was wayyyyyy easier. In fact, she was potty trained by the time she was 15 months old. And no, it did not involve any special tricks or apps (surprisingly, most mommies these days are taking the help of a so-called popular potty training app, which I feel is more work than just training your baby yourself!) and I did not even have to push my baby for it.

To keep it simple, in case you too are readying to get your baby potty trained, you may read through the rest of the article. It worked out really well for me, and I hope it works out for you too :)

When Is The Best Time To Start Potty Training Baby?

What may be the best time for another baby may not be the best time for your's! That's the first thing

How Your Baby's Bath Time Is So Much More Powerful Than Just Cleansing Time

As a mom you know that the time you spend playing, interacting and bonding with your babies can have a significant effect on them for a lifetime. This is especially true during the first three years of your toddler’s life when their tiny brain starts developing. Ever noticed how the simplest gestures like singing a lullaby or holding your baby in your arms evokes happy emotions from your baby? This is because as soon as they are born they use their sense of sight, smell, touch and sound to learn about their environment. The nurturing that you provide during everyday rituals have a profound impact on your baby's reactions and development.

One of the daily rituals that you may not even realize is a great learning opportunity for your baby is bath time, and your interaction with your baby during bath time is key to this learning.  The bath is a place where touch and smell contributes to your baby’s development. For example, simply talking back and forth with baby during bath time can help with language development, or playing music during bath time can stimulate memory. Bath time, therefore, is so much more than a time to just to clean your baby.

As a baby care expert, Johnson & Johnson India is now advancing new research that explores the science behind happy, healthy baby development. The research shows that the time you spend with your baby during bath time can be more than a time to connect and bond. It can be an opportunity to

Traveling Alone With Both My Kids For The First Time: A Few Practical Tips That Helped

image source

So recently I traveled with my 1 year old and my 7 year old. We have traveled with our baby earlier, but it was always me and my hubby managing both of them. This time it was going to be just me, and I must say I had some reservations initially, but then decided what the heck....it was an airport and a flight and wouldn't be so difficult after all.

I will also add that I traveled during the Diwali holidays and the airport at Mumbai was crazily crowded. Too many people, every one had excess baggage, huge queues at the boarding pass counters and too much noise and crowd. Enough to bug even an adult, and my younger one is anyways not  fond of strangers at all, and is going through a severe separation anxiety case for the past almost 4-5 months now!

So here's a few things I did that did help me and even though it was a little difficult, it was still manageable.

Who Enjoys Those Kids' Sessions - Your Child or You?

image source

Recently I walked into the Crossword bookstore in the mall next to my home on a weekend. It was just by chance as my daughter was looking for something in stationery that we couldn’t find at Staples (which is a big stationery store, just in case). So there was this nook where about 3-4 kids were sitting on the carpeted floor, surrounding a woman who seemed to be handing out some craft materials.

Of course we had to go and take a look immediately. It turned out there was a weekend activity session for kids that would be conducted each weekend and anyone was free to walk in. That particular day happened to be Harry Potter’s birthday (and if any of you has been on my book blog, you would know that this is one series I really tried reading, but gave up after the first book – I think it is best left to my daughter to read when she grows up a bit). So it was going to be a story telling and interactive session about Harry Potter and there was also going to be a cake cutting. Quite interesting!

I deposited my daughter with the lady and strolled through the aisles with my baby in the stroller. It was then that I heard a young voice protesting – ‘No Mamma!!!!’

I turned to look at the origin of the voice.

Teaching Our Little One The Pocket Money Concept

image source

Now that my daughter was about to turn a cute 7, I decided it was time to start her pocket money initiation. Of course I didn’t get anything as a kid, and I always make faces at her, telling her she gets so much more than me, to which she always gives me a cute smile, now a toothless smile too!

So coming back to pocket money, I knew I wanted to start her on the concept, but wasn’t sure how to begin. Of late, I realised she was getting smarter about money, and was understanding more about saving and talking money before buying something.

I was already preparing her to understand about simple finances, and what are her needs and wants, which is something she is also learning in her Grade II Business Studies class…hahaha…..business studies at age 7, not bad.

So there were a few things we did to make her understand the concept of money:

You Are An Unfair Mamma! - Balancing The Love Meter

 

image source

Yes, so this is one aspect of motherhood I was always worried about - how would I love my second baby as much as I love my first born?

Sounds bad? Or unfair?

If you are a second time mommy, I'm guessing you've already been down this road. If you are mommy to a single child, you probably are wondering what's the big deal...unless you plan to have a second one (or get to know that it's on the cards, by accident!) ;)

One of the biggest reasons why I wasn't ready for a second baby was precisely this...I was never sure how I would be able to love another baby as much as I love my first born. My life was absolutely fun and perfect, and being a mother was actually a lot of fun, not something I dreaded or that made me alter my life. In fact, I had started enjoying so much with my daughter, who is more of a friend now than just a daughter, that I was worried the baby would come between us and take up my time.

PDA And Kids: How Much Is Too Much, Or Too Less, Rather!

image source

When it comes to PDA, there are already various censors going around that do not encourage the same. If you have kid(s) at home, then one of the strongest censor is probably sitting right next to you, right now!

PDA, or the lack of it, is a conversation that hubby and I engage in almost ever so often. It is something that we both are aware of, and no matter how much we tried to include bits of it in our everyday life (or some point in life after having kids!), it just doesn't seem to work out.

Our older daughter is soon going to be 7, but let her see mommy and daddy hold hands and that big drop of tear will trickle down almost instantly, though she will try to hide it and go and be sad in her room. It doesn't help that I know everything she does and every mood she goes through...

So, if my holding hands with hubby makes her sad, it can't immediately make me feel happy, right?

And it's been a constant struggle since we can remember.

I guess in some ways it is to the fact that I was always overly involved with my daughter ever since she was born. But that is what you generally do with a baby, right? I couldn't spend a moment without her being in it, and that remains true, even to this day.

Are We Together Only Because Of The Kids?

image source

No, I am not thinking of leaving, and neither is my hubby.

I was reading a lovely post today on an American site about how the writer was listening to a divorce account of a man who was about 70, and the reason he gave for the divorce is that now that the kids are grown, the couple have nothing in common.

The author wondered about this and related it to his own marriage (he has 2 kids and 1 is on the way), and of course I could not help myself think of it either.

It is true that in every couple's life, children bring a change that you can never have imagined. And this change is both good, and bad. That's the truth, and there's no sugar coating it.

My hubby and I have known each other for a decade, and have been married for 8 of those years. The first 2 years of knowing each other before we got married was just about us. And we were sure it would always remain like that.

Till we had kids.

The Yes World And The No World: Which One Does Your Child Inhabit?

image source

Whether you realise this or not, these are the two words you have been using most as a parent. And chances are, the word that you have used most out of these two is the dreaded 'NO.' Yes, right!

The 'No' syndrome hits all us parents almost as soon as the little bundle we brought home only that day starts to understand the world around. From 'No, don't put that in your mouth,' to 'No, don't throw it' to 'No more TV' 'No more playing' 'No we are NOT buying that' and much much much more...... every parent-child combo have their own scenarios, some unique and some extremely common.

I too have been using the NO button a lot with my elder one...And now that the younger one is 8 months old, she is getting her share of the NO too....it just doesn't go off unfortunately.

What Not To Buy For Your Kids: 10 Things That Are Purely Marketing Gimmicks: Diary Of A New Mum

image source

The TV ads and the mega shopping sales and the many alerts from the countless shopping sites have only one agenda – to get you to buy!!!!!

As a new mom, and admit it, it has nothing to be a first time or new mom, and even those with more than one kid do this all the time (read, me, as well as you, yourself), we always end up getting sucked into these crazy marketing gimmicks that end up manipulating our brains. They tell us what is really really important for your babies and kids and you end up believing them, heart and mind and soul!

Recently, I even saw something on a baby site that told parents ‘to not be their baby’s toy themselves but to buy them some interesting toys for real.’ Okay, that was really marketing gone overboard and in your face.

With so much peer pressure and so much pressure from so many different quarters, it is very difficult indeed to figure out what your baby or growing child really needs and what can easily be ignored. As a parent, you do not want to leave out anything for your kid, you want to give them all there is that is the best, that will help them in achieving their milestones and help them in motor development and education and learning and stimulating their senses and what not.

Agreed.

But who says that buying all that there is out there will do that?

The ones who are selling it say, who else?

Most often than not, your instinct is the best guide to buying for your baby. Forget about what all the sites and stores are saying. If you think your baby needs it, go and get it right away. If you have the slightest of doubt, hold on.

Here are the 10 most commonly advertised or bought items that are actually not needed for your baby at all!

image source