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If you have been dropping over often here, you would know that I have two darling lovely little daughters, my precious monkeys as I love to call them, and they are truly truly my world and my everything. The older one is 7 and the younger one is 1 and the best part is that they even share their birthday...wow....I couldn't have asked for a better day in the whole year.....
Even though I love them the most and above anything else, there are of course times that I get exasperated. I am a full time mommy, with two full time jobs to manage as well, and I have been lucky enough to get the opportunity to manage my work option - work from home most of the time and head out only if absolutely unavoidable, that too at some very convenient times.
While that is a plus, it also has its negatives. I work mainly from my home, but the fact that I also have to simultaneously care for both my children is something that kills me through the day. It has taken a toll on my health, my happiness, my social skills, my peace of mind and almost everything. It is really difficult, trying to be a single parent to my kids most of the week and managing office and home too. I don't want to do it, but I have to and I know I will.
I know I lose my mind, but yes, I don't share it with anyone. I don't express my concerns and my worries, I don't shout or nag, I just shut down myself and stop interacting - just the bare basics that are required while I go about my everyday work.
But I am figuring out that it does not always help.
My older one, my lovely daughter, is a very perceptive child, and every time I retire into my own quiet space, she notices. She comes over to me, she gives me a hug, she helps me come out of my shell each and every time.
There is no one else who notices these emotions, not really, and I worry that in loving me so much, in trying to be with me all the time, I am unknowingly sending the wrong signals to my darling baby. I do not want her to be so perceptive, it is a great thing, but it is also something that has the power to hurt her and make her more vulnerable than she already is. I don't want that for her. My partner has repeatedly told me that this is exactly what I am doing. But it is not something I have any control over. I don't really 'do' it but she still senses it.
I may try to balance it all but I do fall flat too, and I know many moms go through this. I would not know any other way, but in case you may have gone through something like this, do tell me how you cope.
- Debolina Raja Gupta
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And like I always believe in and say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ
Happy Parenting!!!! Be good to your little one, and to the millions of little ones out there who truly need every bit of love and compassion they can get.....Be a grown up...save the little ones.... Debolina Raja Gupta
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