Stylish, smart, attractive and possessing a fabulous sense of dressing and designing, this 34-year-old former cabin-crew is the proud mother to five-year-old Neel, while another little one is about to arrive in her arms after two more trimesters. Meet Jyosna Kanal Tandaan, a self-confessed party animal, a lady who knows how to entertain friends, at the same time playing loving wife and caring mommy to her little one.
Jyosna had a C-sec delivery and now that her second child is on the way, she will most likely go in for another operated birth.
Myths, myths and myths. We all have heard so many of them that it sometimes gets difficult to differentiate between myth and fact. So what was that one myth that Jyosna heard too many times to actually feel it was true?
“Coconut water and fair skin. I was told that if you drink coconut water all the time you will have a fair child, whereas if you have tea or coffee, the complexion of the child will turn dark.”
So did she believe in the saying? “Not really. I love drinking tea. But of course I did take precautions not to go overboard with my love for the beverage. But that did not mean I thought for one moment that drinking tea would mean I would deliver a dark baby” she laughs.
Both Jyosna and her husband Vipin have a fair complexion, so it is no surprise that their son too has a clear and fair skin. Now as she is just about to finish her first trimester, she is more careful though. “With age a lot of things change in a woman’s body. I am much more careful this time” she says, adding that with age and with the second pregnancy, you also become more mature and experienced.
A high-flier and a party animal, not the traits you would really associate with a mommy. So how has becoming a mother changed her as a person?
“Becoming a mother has changed everything. My lifestyle, my behaviour, my attitude towards life, all has undergone a drastic change. Earlier I would head out to party at every given opportunity. My friends were my world. I was bursting with too much energy, always hyper, a little immature and irresponsible at times. Being a mother has changed all that, and only for the better. Now my life revolves around my son Neel, all else is secondary. Whatever I do, I first think only of how Neel will react to it. All my decisions and choices are now governed by what suits Neel best. I have become much more mature and calm as a person and can handle situations in a much more level-headed way than before.”
Jyosna gave up her lucrative career and decided to be a stay-at-home mom. So how is it for her, does she act more like a mother or more of a friend? What does she want to be more to her son now?
“I think I am a mix of both, but I guess at the moment I am more of a mother. I am more concerned about what he is eating, what he is doing, where he is going, what will be good for him and things like that. I guess I will be more of a friend once the initial years are past. I want to be a friend to him when he grows up, the kind of mum to whom my son can come and share all his feelings without the slightest hitch. I want to be there with him always, to guide him and to listen to him. I want our relation to be so smooth that he doesn’t have to think twice before confiding in me.”
Well said Jyosna.
Jyosna has a very sweet and caring husband. I tease her that he is always besotted with his wife, to which she laughs and shakes her head.
“No no, I tell him to take it easy on him sometimes. But he is always doing something or the other, trying to make me feel special, making me happy all the time. When I was pregnant he was always asking me after my health. What did I eat, how I was feeling. And if there were any cravings he was always trying to fulfill them as much as was possible. I hated to sit at home all the time and always wanted to go out when I was pregnant with my first child. That was what made him uncomfortable. He was concerned I would end up exhausting myself too much.”
It is nice to see how the smiles still light our face when we think of those priceless months of expecting.
And what about getting irritated? Did her husband find any of her 'pregnancy' habit annoying?
"Of course....he used to get mad at my mood swings. I had these crazy mood fluctuations in those months and it absolutely drove him to the wall" she says.
Neel has just left for school and Jyosna is sitting eating a plate full of slices of apples. She offers me some, but as I make a face, she leaves me to my cup of tea instead. She changes her mind and decides she will have a little of it after all. So the best thing to do now, since she gets heart-burn from tea, is to take a milk rusk, dip it in your tea and have it. That way she savours the flavour of the tea while making sure she is not taking too much of the beverage. Smart woman, didn’t I tell you?
“Five, that’s a big boy you have now” I smile and Jyosna smiles too, thinking of those years that seemed to have gone by in a flash.
“Hmm, I didn’t realize time would go by so soon” she says. I cannot help but notice how it is that all us mothers always always say the exact same thing about our little ones. None of us ever realizes how they grew up so soon. It was the same way when our mothers were little, it was the same way when we were little, it is the same way now that we have our own little ones who are growing up so fast, and I am very sure it will be the same forever for every mother.
“So what is it that you will say is the most memorable of your motherhood experience?” I ask her.
She looks at me, as if she can already picture the scene and smiles. “I was very confused during my first pregnancy. Some days I would be scared, some times too happy, sometimes afraid that I might not know how to handle it when the baby would arrive. But the moment my baby was born, I could feel a sudden gush of emotions inside me. It was as if a barrier had been removed and all my fears and confusion were washed away. When I held my son in my arms for the first time and when I realised that I would be responsible for this tiny little being, I knew I could never go wrong again. I knew everything would be just fine.”
But one image that will always remain in her heart is the image of her little one when she was just three months into her pregnancy.
"The doctor had advised me a sonography. Till that time I was very unsure of how things would be, my full maternal instincts had not developed yet. The entire process was still very overwhelming for me." But when she saw the image of her little one, nestled inside her, growing slowly each day, with each passing moment, it was too much for this emotional girl. "I knew right then that I was looking at my world" she says, her voice heavy with emotions.
So now that the second baby is on the way and since her first-born is a boy, the obvious question many people have been asking her is if she has a choice or not.
“Of course not. Both me and my husband are not thinking of whether it will be a boy or a girl. All we want is a healthy happy baby who will complete our little sweet family.”
God bless.
Like I have said earlier too, amazing, that is what it is…..all these moments of confusion and fear and anxiety disappearing the moment the little one is in your arms. Magical, isn’t it, this bond of a mother and her little one? A magic that will change your life for ever.
We wish Jyosna, Neel and the family a wonderful experience throughout. Happy parenting!
* UPDATE: Proud parents Jyosna and Vipin just brought home little baby boy Lakshya. We wish the happy parents and lots of love to big brother Neel :))
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And like I always believe in and say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children.' - MJ
Happy Parenting!!!
- Debolina Raja Gupta
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